Can Love Last Without Sex.

Married for 20 hrs. On and off with sex life the past 5 years. At first, he blames obesity. Now the depression medicine. We both enjoy our hugs and holding hands but I miss the intimacy and physical is frustrating laying to a nice quiet luxurious hotel, alone. I feel alone as he enjoys his sleep. I work mostly nights, burying myself in work even at home most times.i often cry in my sleep, longing to be kissed and caressed and be connected. I have suggested for him to chain his meeds, or for us to seek help. But he says he's happy and I should too as he loves me and we have a good life. And sex or lack of, shouldn't make me unhappy.
Nevagetit Nevagetit
46-50, F
6 Responses May 8, 2012

Seeing as how you are open to the concept where someone else can run your life by telling you what you "should" feel and do - here is my piece <br />
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You should kick his arse out the door, pronto.<br />
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Tread your own path.

If you have not done so already and you can afford it, I would suggest that you seek therapy for yourself. They will be able to support you during this time, help you uncover areas where you are contributing to the situation (if there are any) and give things that you can act on unilaterally.<br />
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Good luck!

Sex is not love.<br />
Many men die before their wives because their only enjoyment comes from having sex.<br />
Perhaps your husband has found the way to outlive their wives.<br />

... and Welcome to ILIASM. We understand. I recommend you stick around and read as many stories here as you can manage. The more you read, the clearer your path will become - whatever YOUR path is.

If you love your marriage but desperately miss sex, in my opinion you have two choices in order to restore happiness: 1. tell your husband that you love him dearly, and you know that he won't mind that you've decided to have NSA sex with others. Remind him that because he's decided not to attend to your needs, you will undertake that endeavor on your own; 2. just go out and have a NSA sexual encounter without telling your husband.<br />
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Even if your husband hates sex, if you loves you he should get off his lazy butt and find erotic, stimulating ways to satisfly you. You have one life - don't waste it!

Oh, probably not. He might just plain not care, even if you're engaging in risky behavior, or he might use it in his own divorce case - effecting the property settlement and/or custody and/or support.

Wow - so he can enter your mind and determine if you are happy or not - or IF you should be happy? You can love someone without sex (ie friends, relatives) but that is different then a contractual relationship - this is not what you signed up for. Too often it becomes a vicious cycle - they refuse and refuse making you more desperate. My best advice find some way to burn energy so sex is not the first thing on your mind. Decide what YOU want - is a sexless marriage worth it? And do the necessary steps to make that happen. Some people outsource their needs, as for me - I have an exit plan in place (thought I waver sometimes) because this is more like the icing on the cake rather then a core issue. You might want to get his health checked if he is suffering ED and not telling you - someone told me about this and two days later, yep heart attack.