Banning

I move that we unite and move to have our resident troll banned and IP address blocked form ep.

I would just block her, but I know that some poor suicidal soul is going to walk in here one day, pour out his heart, make himself vulnerable to her comments and will blow his head off with a shotgun. I am sensitive to this as suicidal depression was something I dealt with in my early 20's and I know that when you are in that moment, and someone like her comes along, it can be the last straw. Deleting not work - you have already read it by the time you delete it.

Blocking as a group is not good enough, because then we will not see her comments as she seeks to destroy some new member who believes she is is a genuine person. Honestly I suspect she is a bot, as there is no real engagement, only repetitions of her trash.

Last spring a buddy I know came out of his second marriage and blew his head off with a shotgun. Brains all over the wall. This is not a ******* joke. He is the third person I've known who chose suicide. Another jumped off the Kentucky river bridge after his second marriage failed. And another was a friend from high school who was bullied. He also blew his head off with a shotgon. The despair and sensitivity people can be in when they come here can be profound.

It is simply irresponsible of us to allow such a person in our midst. Some have tried to engage her, some (like myself) tried to defend themselves, some 'have fun' saying mean things back to her.

But I now realize this is a game that should not be played.

You may be saying, "what kind of person would be so stupid so as to kill themselves because of what some dumb troll said?" Similarly one might ask "what kind of person stays in a sexless marriage?" It happens. It happens and it is not rare.

Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier
Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/09/amanda-cummings-suicide-prompts-cyberbullying-bill_n_1195204.html
Link: http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2010/09/30/cyberbullying-and-a-students-suicide
Link: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/03/soccer_star_commits_suicide_over_cyberbullying_formspringme.php
Link: http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-02-23/news/31093069_1_dharun-ravi-clementi-rutgers-university-freshman

Do not fear, I am in no danger of offing myself. But Eventually someone will come to ILIASM who is. We have had several already that have mentioned it and were not joking at all. I always worry when someone says something like that and then we don't hear from them again.

This brand of bullying should not be a part of this community. I say we make our collective voices heard. Flag EVERY post, and make the concern known. I have posted over at "I want to improve EP."

I want to know who else feels the same way, so please post your opinion, yea or nay, in the comments below.

FilteringMachine FilteringMachine
31-35, M
21 Responses May 8, 2012

FM, your concern is justified and I commend you for bringing it up. Words are very powerful, even from strangers, when we're in a vulnerable state.<br />
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Perhaps some of us could add a disclaimer after her posts when necessary. Here's one, stolen shamelessly from the well-put words of Chai:<br />
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""Experience Project is a community ba<x>sed on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind." FYI: Destiney24 is a desperately troubled person who periodically displays a sadistic streak in many of her posts. Please do not take her posts personally."<br />
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That and the the use of the Dislike and Flag buttons might minimize the impact on people who haven't been here long enough to know her. It's a kindness we can do for others, and is just another example of the massive support and kindness most people in this group have extended anyway. Really - for a group no one wants to belong to - we're freakin' awesome!! :D

I thought for a moment that she was singling me out to belittle and yell at....Enna set me straight .<br />
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If ....she come here to get rid of something - maybe it is good that she do that...or perhaps she disagrees but has not the verbiage do to illness to come off as anything but disagreeable. In either case I do not support banning (even if it were possible - there being DHCP addresses and all) ...I can ignore.<br />
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So perhaps....some of the "ever present" folks here can simply let the newbies (as Enna did for me) know that she is harsh, different, and perhaps "challenged"...after Enna told me what her deal is I found it easier to simply ignore her - or post a reply that explains my position re: her nasty rebuttals - without getting nasty at her.

Let's look at it from another perspective. Maybe D24 really is in crisis and is striking out the only way she is able to - in a safe place where she won't get belted. I don't know, but I'll suggest at least that the same considerations for others we'd like to see in her writing, could be considerations we're willing to give her as well. <br />
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What that means for me is to avoid taking the bait and to find something to say other than a slapback response. I can cut pretty deeply if I put my mind to it, and I've seen the damage my writing has done when I'm really angry. It's not pretty and I don't ever want to be that person again. <br />
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Besides, D24 has pledged, at least to me, that she will make an effort not to respond out of rage. That sounds like a reasonable place to begin for all of us.

There are many things that I personally would be happy to see banned such as hunting, fishing, abattoirs, guns, boxing, smoking, the Grand National, allowing Creationism to be taught in churches as though it were factual and lots of other things too! <br />
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However I would never want to see Destiney cast away into the wasteland because she isn't a cult, an army, a religion, a political leader or any other major influential force. <br />
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Destiney is but one lone individual, as we all are, and as such is entitled to her individual opinions which she is equally entitled to share with the world. Every one of us, as individuals, is equally entitled to respond to her posts in any manner we like. Our individual opinions will be judged, as will hers, by every other person reading our response. <br />
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In my world free speech is always welcome, repression is not!

So, in this liberarian view, what is the point of the Tos, and restrictions on what we can say without being subject to legal sanction? Or the effects of cyberbullying?

She is a lone individual just as we are. And we are all responsible for the way we respond. I just don't want to see someone blow their brains out on her account. I don't wish to see her put through that kind of pain. I can't imagine how the cyberbullies whose victims killed themselves must feel. They have to carry that pain, knowing that they were the trigger. The free speech at all costs argument leads to the "God hates ****" groups protesting military funerals. That is not political speech. It is not even disrespectful. That is simply pure, unadulterated evil, and there is no place for that kind of behavior in any public discourse. It incites violence, and does so intentionally. I do believe that is her intent - to incite such rage that someone will do harm to themselves or someone else. Stretching it? Maybe. Only time will tell, hopefully it won't.

That's always the danger genguy.<br />
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There are assorted posters in this group. Even the worst of them can, and do, come up with a gem of insight now and again.<br />
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There's the choice. With the worst of them, cop a good old serve of garbage on the basis of something worthwhile emerging from time to time, or not.<br />
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Banning / blocking / reporting means you won't see that rare gem.<br />
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Reckon I'd just as soon have the chance to see what's said. It stands or falls on its' own merits.<br />
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Tread your own path.

I almost feel the same way. Almost. But when someone goes out of their way to hit you where it hurts, with the only goal of causing you pain? I don't care what such a person would say.

I agree, ba<x>sed on her groups and postings, that Destiney is a very ill (and I mean physically ill) and desperately troubled person. She may feel trapped and unable to cope with her sexless marriage, thus the extreme efforts she goes through to justify it. Take a good look at her: She is us, taking stuck-ness to the extreme. <br />
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I just feel that if you have problems, it's OK to ask for help, but it's not OK to take your frustration out on others. Destiney periodically displays a really sadistic streak in many of her posts, and I agree with FM that the injured folks who stagger into ILIASM may feel sliced and diced. <br />
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I don't agree with banning, because she does occasionally contribute in a positive way. <br />
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Everyone has a right to their say, including those who call "Troll". Everyone has the right to comment, or dislike posts.

I agree, she does have some positive qualities. I do feel that she uses positive comments on occasion to give her sadistic streak more power and validity.

How are you so sure it's a her anon?

Actually, you kinda sound like her! And I think you and D24 are the only ones communicating by mobile thingy.

It is of concern that VB would prefer to have Destiney's comments than those of FOIA. It seems that Destiney's sexless marriage makes her better qualified for, and more valuable to this forum. FOIA may not be in a sexless marriage but he has wisdom, intelligence, compassion and gives generously of his support . However, it seems these count for nothing when weighed against the fact that he is not in a sexless marriage.<br />
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VB, you might like to consider how seriously your obsession with FOIA is affecting you when you actually prefer Destiney's comments to his . . . This says something very disturbing about you.

Have to disagree with you enna.

Like i have said many times before she is an idiot, and i just have this vision in my head of what an ugly twisted hateful troll she is.

Yes, let's ban the sad *****.

You mean batch!

Maybe we can start a thread and call it "***** batch" - and use it to argue and pull each other's hair. And oceansun can spank me. umm... and again?

i think as a community our group tends to be outstanding..The members here..do run to support and inform.in a phenominal way...and so i think we are vigilant enough to ..dilute a trolls message..<br />
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However, I do want to say that being mindful of an author's deperation is a serious consideration and we all need to have respect and tread carefully. Some here here can be too pushy, and you don't always know where the person's head really is.<br />
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There have been members here in our group, whose. spouse has commit suicide, or become violent. And so we have to be careful about what we push people to do with their situation. I too have had a friend commit suicide, and so I too know first hand that desperate people take deperate steps. so please, try to reach out with your heart, and not just your words..<br />
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.Take care..and take care of each other...that is all we can do...

Yes, thank you.

I agree. I will also add this: twice in my life I opened up and listened to desperate near strangers that came back to me and said "Hey, thanks for talking to me. I was planning on killing myself and after talking to you I don't think I will." What we say to people people in tough situations is important.

Chai's great statement - direct from EP I think:<br />
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""Experience Project is a community ba<x>sed on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind." "

I totally agree with you FM, but sadly I realise that the comments by the IT savvy people explain why it won't work.<br />
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Those of us who have been around for a while have seen this person post here intermittently. I believe that she has an illness (which she fervently denies) that ebbs and peaks. At peak times, she "NEEDS" to express her bile and chooses this forum on which to do so. I suspect that a psychiatrist would have a Field Day with the reasons for that choice . . . !!<br />
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I too think we can only be vigilant and offer support as she targets individuals. I especially like Chai's approach - I'm going to go back and find it and then quote it below. I encourage everyone to simply place this quote on any and all of her newgative postings to newcomers. The rest of us should IMO just ignore her - but! Oh, how hard that can be to do!! As IMT says, the terrorists are winning. . . !! lol

mvcmvc, I just have to "like" your comment :)

Destiny like i have told you many times before You are an idiot! Woolworths yes, Walmart no. Idiot. I dare say not even Walmart will employ you. As for Woolworths i dare say that they dont employ the sharpest tools in the shed but when it comes to you even they will knock you back

Enna isn't it sad when Destiny cant distinguish Woolworths from Walmart. lol

I have to wonder what makes people Destiney24 tick. Se must really love being disliked if she disses one of the most loved members of this group (Enna) publicly.

mvcmvc, you sweet optimist, you! There is no cure for the massive ignorance displayed. LOL

2 More Responses

With this poster, the really important thing to recognise is that she needs help herself. Not only with the execrable spelling - even though I'm pretty tolerant there, I have a dyslexic daughter, she goes beyond the pale - but most of all with her attitude. <br />
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I think she's ill herself, not a troll, and is getting some kind of kick from dragging people into her morass, in a nasty way. The "funny" thing is that her beliefs about the SM are likely mainstream - make your mind up, but cheating isn't a good idea - but the way she expresses it isn't supportive, the opposite.<br />
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She has 744 stories, 119 groups and 44 friends and has been a member for nearly 3 years (so nearly a story a day!). Coming back as a different user likely wouldn't suit her.<br />
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Reviewing her recent activity, she's written an unpleasant set of bile mainly to enna and FM, whether or not that contravenes the Tos I've no idea. The Catch 22 is that she appears to get off on the reaction, so the only thing to do is play it back straight & factually without playing her game (which is to get someone riled, which then allows her follow-up). <br />
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I'm quite happy to flag offensive posts, and I know I've appreciated it when others have come to my aid when things are unpleasant, to retain sanity.

Oh, I'm not at all perfect, although incredibly talented. As are we all. The difference being how we apply that talent, most of all in how we care for each other.

I did get some rather rude and 'mean' comments from that "Destiny24", but I just went on about my business...I thought it was a TOUGH pill to swallow so I dig some digging. Apparently Destiny24 is Dr. Phil's alter ego. <br />
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Wait...<br />
Why am I commenting on this?<br />
Blah, the 'terrorists win'... see, now we're talking about 'her'... she wins...dammit

The real change happens within.

FM<br />
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I know how you feel but purely from a technical perspective it will be impossible to implement. The fact is that most of us are leased an IP address from session to session and don't have a fixed IP address which you normally have to pay a subsc<x>ription premium for. That is normally only done by Internet users who need to support access to computers inside their own network from the Internet and that is usually people running businesses and hard-core Internet game pla<x>yers. To get what you suggest to work it would be necessary to block the whole IP network sub-net of the ISP she uses which could be tens of thousands if not millions of users. EP simply are not going to do that. It would be possible, in theory, to block by MAC code which in theory never changes but it is possible to change that if you know what you are doing, although I would doubt whether she would go that far.<br />
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The only feasible answers are to do what folks are doing at present; being vigilant, warning any newcomers and continue to engage to try to find out exactly what her agenda is. However, if she is ill as some suggest then there will be no possibility of reasoning with her, even in her own self-interest. In that case you would have to wait until she commits an arrestable offence and sometimes some people on the Internet do that as we are often reminded in the media.<br />
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I would love to be more optimistic but those are the facts. I do appreciate your concern having been where you have been regarding suicide. However, I think sometimes you can only do your best even if there is not a positive outcome. The rest is down to fate, to a conglomeration of factors, most of which are never in our hands.

If you try to have a person banned, they can just come back with a different username. <br />
I vote we just keep an eye on the situation, and post explanatory notes where needed.

I know this is true...but IP addresses can be blocked as well.

Most consumer IP addresses are dynamic, so blocking isn't practical.

- ChaiComputerGeek : )

Oh, but I see a few people have already started clicking "dislike" on her comments.

Oh, yes, I like that option. Lets do that.

I agree, Chai. We need to watch out for each other! In general, we're a pretty good group. I have no problem calling someone out if they're attacking, rather than supporting, another member. Filter, you have a big heart, never lose that or see it as a liability.
P.

2 More Responses

Fm, <br />
You have to learn to ignore ****. <br />
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I know it is easier said than done. After my wife and LostLeila, I think of banging Density24/7 with a fervor!

So...your vote is?

Fervor :Great warmth and intensity of emotion.
WOW.
Ron I am LostLeila and who ever else you want me to be ......sigh*

Hey back off get your own sandwich, Ron is mine LOL

To whom are you referring? I don't hang around enough anymore to know who I'm supposed to flag.

Destiny24.

I totally agree and applaud you for speaking up. Some folks come here barely hanging on so to have that garbage thrown at them is not what they need to hear. I don't post a lot anymore because of my own personal decisions regarding my marriage, but I will

"Do not fear, I am in no danger of offing myself" Thank God you cleared that FM you had me worried for a sec, I agree and I do flag every post and report all spam.<br />
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Baz cannot be stopped !<br />
BAHAHHAA<br />
Joking I love the "Lorax"