I Did It Part 2

The calm was short lived. 

He went for a walk in the evening and he came back to ask me if I still wanted to do *this. I said yes, I haven't changed my mind. He went to a neighbor and she told him  that in the morning I would have changed my mind!

He sobbed, begged and pleaded. I felt bad for him. He looked heart broken. He had no idea it was coming even after all the times I told him I was unhappy, the times we fought about it and even after the screaming in frustration. He didn't get it. He asked me what he could do to get me back. I said, Nothing. I thought I could change you and that's the wrong thing to think and not fair to you. Our relationship has run its course. We're done. 
I held it together then he left the room and then I cried into my pillow. Staying strong. 

I start holidays in less then two weeks. I'm going to pack my non necessities into boxes and put them into storage. Then, I am going on a holiday away for five days. 

seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
36-40, F
11 Responses May 9, 2012

best to get it done! I admire you for sticking it out. I caved in to her emotional burst of sorrow. Now 20 yrs later I am still here. Living in my little corner of the house? <br />
Lonely, angry, and disgusted that I stayed.

Sweetheart, I am so sorry for what you are going through :,( I wish I could hold you.<br />
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Nothing weird but I am a male 19 and I would love to talk with you. I knwo I am young but if ever just want to vent or rant about anything and let it out, here is my number. 1 408 772 8919. nothing weird but I like to talk with people and I may not be of much help but I can try. Just letting everything out helps a little. Text or call maybe? Just tell me who you are haha.

S:<br />
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My husband did the GIJOE mind games on me and wore me down. He contested everything, and gave me shitfits about everything. He refused, and denied, until it mentally wore me out. I realzie now I shoudl havenever gone BACK.<br />
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There were days I sat frazzled, stressed, and mentally drained from this man. He intentionally tried to turn my daughter AGAINST me. <br />
<br />
Since I do not make as much money as he does, I had to pro se my divorce proceedings thinking that would help....NOT. He was not the least bit GRATEFUL I typed up the legal papers myself ( I am a paralegal also)<br />
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I sit in REGRET now, because I do WANT A DIVORCE. I am broke, stressed, unhappy and yet I am still in the RUT I'm in because I was not STRONG enough.<br />
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Be strong, stay strong, stay mentally alert. These are challenging moments for you AL! I hope after the saddness your husband does not go through the RESENTMENT/ANGER phase. There are more phases to come, so continue to get and keep good friends that are your A-team for SUPPORT.<br />
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Please continue to write about this, and I too well keep you abreast of my situtation as well. I hope I can learn something from your experience.<br />
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time moves on,

I wish you luck and continued strength!!

It's still not over, you know. It's funny, I was just fixing to comment on Part I that you should anticipate this... then I saw Part II at the bottom. <br />
<br />
I will never understand how people don't see it coming. In Part I, I was going to quip on his desire to stay 'roommates'. Seriously? This says your marriage is/was his comfort zone.... the sleepy little town that it had become. Why divorce if you don't want to move on, after all? <br />
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Give him time... he'll get through this, just like you will. And even if he doesn't, it is time to reclaim your life. As we say, "We aren't getting any younger." Congratulations to you, by the way. I know it's with mixed feelings, but once you make a decision and then act on it? Life is like dominoes.... things start falling into place.

Fit in a visit to a lawyer in your break.<br />
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Tread your own path.

Seemed, congratulations on holding onto your position rather than giving in to the emotional manipulation. Many of us find that manipulation VERY hard to resist because, at heart, we WANT to believe them. But the truth is, that they really can not (or will not) be able to maintain any changes they implement in the short term. So, for many people, giving in simply prolongs the jopurney. . . . <br />
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By being strong you are making your position clear and it WILL be easier to deal with. Not "easy" - but "easier". I hope you can have a great few days alone - do some nice things for yourself. Build up your own strength and self esteem. The coming weeks will be tough, but you will triumph!!

Huh! He adopted the ostrich strategy only to find out you weren't one as well and now he's crying like a growling domestic cat, you know when they challenge one another over territory. In the dead of night it sounds eerily like wailing babies, only spooky instead of exasperating.

I am both sad and happy for you. I am happy for you because you will be leaving a painful situation. And I am sad for you because it hurts to leave someone you love. It hurts alot. For some reason people think it does not. But it does, oh my god it does. <br />
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You will have lots of pain before this is over...just be ready for it, it is a bumpy ride. I keep feeling like I'm over it and leveled out...and then I have a bad stretch. Only time will heal.

I don't love him. I care for him as a human and as a friend but the love is gone. I want to see him happy and will treat him fairly...

That's exactly how I feel now. Wow, it is almost as if we are living a parallel life. He was in denial for two good months before he finally broke down and cried everyday for more than a month. I am so looking forward to summer when we finally will move on our own. He will always be a part of my life, considering that he's the father of my kids but nothing more than that.

Good for you! I don't know your backstory, but I am cheering you on for having the courage to change what you know is unacceptable in your life. I wish you peace and happiness along with continued strength.

Wait, didn't he agree with you last night and said "yes we're done"? <br />
Stay strong hun, I know it's hard but you are doing so good.

Yes, he agreed last night but he is in denial. The neighbor tried to be hopeful by telling him I would change my mind. I can only imagine how it will go when he tells his parents. They don't like either of their son's partners..