Even Divorce Isn't That Easy.

After I had my three chidren, something happend between us. I began to he storyes of how when he was over seas on west pack there were other women. This angered me and frighten me as well. I was afried of STDs. He came home and started being rough with sex and it carried over to him wanting to have our time in front of our chidren. I hated it, I couldn't give myself freely to him with others watching.
 Then he wanted to do couple swaps, this I put my foot down too. He started to drink heavley and stay out all night. I was just trying to have a normal family life. To enjoy our children and each other, if he'd been there. But he wasn't. After a while I became sick with miagranes and other problems. I was in such pain I could just take care of the children and go back to bed. Do you think he understood that and try to take care of me . Not a chance, he got so ruff with me I began to hate sex and anything to do with it.

 I still yet to be held and cuddled in the arms of the man that loves me. I don't even know if there is such a thing as that. I guess that is all on TV or movies.
Making love and having sex are two different things to me. Let me know what you think about this and what I'm doing wrong.
JinnieH JinnieH
61-65, F
2 Responses May 9, 2012

I didn't want to admit it was abuse, but that's exactly what it was. The children suffered too. They are grown now, but I see where all this junk hurt them. I am getting a divorce, it should be finial in September this year.
I had to move out of my home,he no longer would make payment with me living there. It's been forclosed on. I live in my parents 37 year old double wide. I've never felt so free or happy. I have a grandson living with me.
I'm unable to work, so am living on a very limited budget. But I've learn that I am stronger and I am going to be fine. As far as finding another man, I'm not in any hurry. I don't want to ever be treated like I was treated again and I also don't want to carry all this distrust into another relationship. I have to make sure it's gone. I am finding men friends to talk to on here, for now that's enough.

Congratulations Sister Jinnie.

Get a divorce and start looking at other men. <br />
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End of story!<br />
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Kick your husband in the balls while you are at it.