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I Am Done With My Sexless Marriage

I found this site a couple of weeks ago. It has been a great support to hear your stories. I just told my husband may 1 that it was too painful to continue the relationship and i was seeking a divorce. May 18 is our 10 year anniversary. I can not go on like this another year. And if we do go out i will have to listen to him talk and talk and talk about his strange spiritual belief. Come home and still wonder if there will be any sex. He was in complete shock and denial. All my reasons for the divorce are not a good reason in his mind. I have no voice in our relationship and if i do express thoughts and feelings they are put down by his own spiritual belief. He belives god has given him special revelations and all his suffering is a purififcation process so he can rule and reign with christ as an elect person. I think he likes to suffer and does not mind that i do too. Also there are no kind words. I am attractive he hardly ever tells me i look pretty. When i ask for acts of service well its bad idea too. For example we moved from California to.nebraska 3 years ago i have been asking for a firepit for our family to roast hot dogs and make smores we have 3 kids. But no its dumb idea. Finally his mom comes to town and he puts on a show and finally says oh im going to make my wife a firepit and wow he actually touched my back!! I have been asking for years for quality time like just making dinner together. Well after serving him the papers he actually made me something to eat two nights in a row!! I felt sad and guilty cuz it was such a nice gesture but not enough to change my mind. And after 10 years he does not know how to put on rubber! I have no hope that the sex will get better. We went through 6 years of pretty regular counseling and when we talked about sex and what i like how i enjoyed to be touched he said i am sick of touching her how she wants. She just has one little pleasure spot!!! And i also said i like to hold hands have my hair stroked and massage. Well its a long story..hopefully i will have sex life soon.
HHeatherr HHeatherr 36-40 10 Responses May 10, 2012

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Sad.

You don't even get the chance to have sex with one of God's messengers? Now, THAT is cruel! On the other hand maybe he is just suffering from a mundane and tedious psychosis.<br />
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As an aside, it is very strange that if you get selected by a majority of approved others you are God's messenger on Earth but if you are self-employed you are just nuts. No wonder Jesus was supposed to have had such a tough time; he didn't have an earth-bound recognised and approved sponsor.<br />
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The way things are moving it sounds as if being sexually frustrated could be the least of your problems before soon. Just tell him that he would be better off on his own. Messiah's never can tell when they might be home for dinner.<br />
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😁

'Lo HHeather, that sure is one sad and twisted soul you picked to marry. Unfortunately in my experience people who have such warped religious beliefs are virtually impossible to connect to unless you completely share what they believe in. And since you have apparently ideas about wanting to live a normal human life and get some attention and affection from your husband I can only conclude that you'd better start looking in some other place. I HATE what religion does to some people .... <br />
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It is terribly sad to hear that his touching your back once was such an extraordinary event that it really stuck in your memory. If he thinks he'll be in some elevated position after he's dead because of his ****** treatment of his wife, then he is one sick **** (pardon my French) with narcissistic delusions. You can do better. <br />
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Buck up - there's a better future around the corner if you walk away from this! Surely it can hardly get any worse.

Heather, you are not alone. I see you joined this site today and started right out writing. That is good. You are among friends. We all understand your issues and some have ideas why and how somethings can be fixed. But I believe in you case you have made some effort and have a clear path you are driving in to divorce. You indicated 3 kids. Well ba<x>sed on the norm space between kids this would have consume 60% of the time you have been married. So if the other times have not been fulfilling to you or him then you have really gone in the right direction. And for his Elect with Christ. maybe he should only be focused on his Erect! Read some stories and get to uderstand the other ppl here and enjoy your jpourney

I would seriously consider leaving as his beliefs are interfering with a normal and natural intimate life. I think any normal healthy spouse wants to have sex with their partner. It's a shame that his religious beliefs interfere with this. Was he this religious when you two married? How was sex in the beginning? I sincerely wish you the best and we are all here to help each other.

You wonder what is wrong with them !!!!<br />
My husband is exactly the same ...I am young , stylish , pretty , a real devoted house wife ,educated , kind ,polite , always respect him and his ideas ...but we have been married for 4 years and he has not touched my hair yet ....last valentine I gave birth to a baby and he said he saw my legs were so strong ...when I was in labor ...it means he had not paid attention to my legs before then .<br />
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Our baby died ,and yet we have not talked about it ,because he does not feel like to talk and have any conversation !!!<br />
Not only he DOES NOT touch , have sex , have fun , go any where with me , HE DOES NOT even talk .<br />
If I ask him what is wrong with me ,he say " you are the best wife " .<br />
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I am hating myself ...when I brush my teeth hoping he would kiss me !<br />
I hate myself when I shave my legs and yet he does not see them !<br />
I hate myself that always keep the house tidy and clean and always I cook !<br />
prepare his breakfast at 5 am and cook lunch , cook supper !<br />
I hate myself that I did not make any friends in my life hoping that he would be my best friend while his best friends are TV ,his computer ,and his electric blanket !<br />
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How disgusting and annoying can it be when he buys electric blanket to keep himself warm while I am in bed with him like a ghost !!!

You are engaging in harm reducing behaviors with this divorce.<br />
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Best of luck in your new life!

Good for you, hon. Divorce his *** and run like the wind.

she might be better off being married to his ***: donkeys know how to put their equipment to use! although I doubt they're any better at putting on rubbers ...

lol

HHeatherr,<br />
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I'm curious what religion is this that doesn't allow him to touch his WIFE? Because I'm a Christian woman and the bible tells you that you shouldn't deny your spouse and that you should treat your spouse as you would treat the Lord. I'm confused.

HHeatherr,<br />
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I am in the same position as you, except you chose to move your life in a positive direction. Your choice won't be easy but, I think you made the right one. Sweetie good luck in the following weeks and months. You sound like a strong and determined person you will land on your feet and be just fine. <br />
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I wish all the best of luck to you.