Spying Update!

HERE IS THE UPDATE!!!!!!!!

I Found It!

After an extremely stressful day, I found it.

First, I went to the police station. The officer thought I was nuts. He thought it highly unlikely that a GPS was installed. He told me they were complicated to install. He suggested any repair shop that does inspections could check it out. Also, because the vehicle is in my H's name, there is nothing I can do. Legally, the truck is his. I walked out of there feeling totally hopeless.

I went to a repair place & asked if they could check it out for me. Once again, they thought I was nuts too. I could tell by their expressions, that they thought I was just being a silly, " woman", with an overactive imagination. This was a bit frustrating for me to be perceived in this manner. The repairman suggested my H may have signed up the onstar program on my vehicle. This could be how he was tracking me. He did have a point. But I remembered when I first became suspicious of spying activity, my H had tried to put something under my seat. They checked it out.

They put the car on the lift. They searched. They checked the fuse panel under the hood as gps units require a power source. I told them that I saw an online installation of a GPS hidden behind the dash board. It used the OBD cable as the power source. The mechanic unscrews the OBD plug. I hear him say, " oh boy!". And there it was! It was hard wired into the dash board. The mechanic said that it was a professional installation. They did a good job of hiding it, so it wouldn't be discovered. The repairman confessed that he didn't think they would find anything.

I took a few pictures. I got a letter from the repair shop to document what they found. I left it where it was. I went back to the police station to educate them, in the hopes that the next time someone comes in asking for help about a gps, to please give out correct information.

My lawyer has requested that I don't do anything til after our meeting next week. First she wanted to discuss it with my H's attorney. I don't want to yet. I am going to use this as a way to try & get him out of the house. If that doesn't work....then I am going to at least, reclaim the bedroom. HE can sleep on the couch! I am done being nice.
ANewLife4Me ANewLife4Me
46-50, F
18 Responses May 11, 2012

IF he claims that it is an anti-theft device, ask your lawyer to ask him to demonstrate that he has a similar device on the car HE drives. Unless the car you drive is of FAR higher value, it makes NO sense to install an anti-theft device on one vehicle you own but not on the other! <br />
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Whilst his behaviour cannot be proved to be illegal, it CAN (IMO) be proved to be highly suspect and unreasonable in motivation. Your lawyer is in the best position to use tjis information to your advantage. Your job is to maintain a dignified silence!!

And I thought my H was controlling!<br />
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Good for you that you maintained your belief - no matter how they (officers, mechanics) treated you. I agree with (many of) the other folks here - in this case, let the lawyers handle this. Clearly, your stbx cannot be trusted to have an honest, adult discussion.

there is an excellent axiom, "circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him." Your husband is now showing his true colors. You are doing the right thing by taking the high road and avoiding conflict. I would definitely have computer checked out, maybe replace the hard drive. I will pray for you anlfm~

Thanks for all the comments! I don't believe there is a key logger on the computer. I rarely use it anyway. I do all my online typing, like right now, on my iPad. I keep the iPad with me.<br />
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There is some more drama.....last night I went out with 2 girlfriends. I told my H who I was going with. He asked where we were going. I said that I didn't know. I parked my vehicle in front of my Friend's house & we went to dinner. After dinner, we went to Starbucks. "<br />
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At 11:30, he called my cell phone. I didnt answer. He didn't leave a message. He called 2 more times within 7 minutes. No messages left. I didn't answer his calls. Then, he called my girlfriend. She didn't answer either. I got scared, because I knew he was checking up on me, looking for me. He has done this before, with the repeated calls in a row & no message. I am sure he saw on his spying gps where my vehicle was. But he didn't know where I was! I figured I was in for some type of confrontation when I got home. I thought it might require the police.<br />
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Somehow, he heard what we were saying from my girlfriend's phone. She must've answered it & not realized it. So he KNEW who I was with. He heard us saying, " he's going to freak out". " he's going to call the houses". I think that is bout all he heard. My frind called her house to find out if there were any calls. This disconnected what he could hear.<br />
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When I got home, he DID question me. " did you have a good time? You must've, you didnt answer your phone. Why didn't you answer?". He gave me a lame, bullshit reason for calling. There was a problem at his store & he thought he was going to have to go there. He is full of ****! Don't believe him for a minute! <br />
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I am worried about him snapping. So are my friends. I will let my lawyer know about last night. I don't think there is anything that she can do about any of this.<br />
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Some of you commented that I should leave the house. I cannot! My lawyer told me NOT to leave. And I have nowhere to go .<br />
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I will keep you posted.

Wow. He's really pulling out all the stops. Be careful.

I give you credit for trusting your intuition, and sticking to your plan to find out for sure. So congratualtions, at least, you know where you stand, and you have proof. The bad news is, well the same thing, You know where you stand, and it is not good. Be careful.To do what he did, is truly rare. Most spouses don't stoop to that level. This guy is determined to hurt you, or get back at you. he must be incredibly jealous and vindictive. I don't know his purpose, but i would not trust anything. I would not trust the phone, the computer, nothing.I would certainly take the computer to have someone look at it. Besides, a computer guy, might be able to assist you in keeping your information private. <br />
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If you want to have privacy, and the computer is compramised, and you live near a library, they have computers for public use, so use theirs. I don't know what else to suggest. <br />
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Except, be alert, and just pay attention, and continue to trust your instincts.

Hooray for you!

Always trust your intuition!

You know, mvcmvc raises a really good point. We don't know your financial situation of course, but are you in a position to get your own car? You could get a second hand Pontiac for 4,000 - 6,000. It would have better gas mileage than a truck, which could be a discussion point. You'd have your own car with your own key.

why don't you make preparations to move out of the house. get your own appartment, your own car, etc. make teh seperation final and continue with divorce preceedings.

I think finances are an issue for her at this juncture.

thats why I said make preparations

Hot damn! Good for you for persisting!<br />
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What an ******* your STBX is.

He is extreme. Caution is urged. I would keep all this and give it to your lawyers. I think the more out of control he feels, the more extreme he will become. Keep your safety by keeping the couch and remind yourself it is a temporary situation. Being right is not as important as being safe.

That's disappointing and grim but perhaps indicative and full vindication of your decision. Keep taking the moral ground and don't stoop to his level. Being like that is what makes you, is you. And you will be able to look back on it and remember that you were a more moral and dignified person than he ever was.<br />
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The probability is that he will probably deny ever putting it in the truck to spy on you but just to know where the truck was if it got stolen. I would agree about getting the computer checked. I can't believe that he wouldn't consider it fair game as well. Do you have to share it? Or do you have your own and have it password-protected? Does he know your password?

the other side to the coin is that when my wife was enjoying liasons with her special "friend" in the family car. I wish i had some sort of device fitted which could enable me to know the truth about occured rather than have to settle for her version of what went on.

I am so happy for you that you have uncovered his treachery. He sounds like he may have a few bolts in his head that were never tightened. Someone suggested that you park your vehicle at a gun shop just to send him a message. Perhaps you should park it at a self defense training place, and while you are parked there, take some classes. He sounds like a bit of a nutcase, and I feel a bit concerned for your safety.<br />
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Stay safe and vigilant!<br />
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DB2

Holy crap..talk about feeling violated! Good thing you are getting out of your marriage.

gosh maybe have ur computer checked out too....

Glad you found it. However you are going to be hard pressed to throw him out of the house ba<x>sed on that. Legally it is his car ownership is in his name as you said so you would think he can install whatever he wants to it and offer the reason as a security measure in case it gets stolen.<br />
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Sorry to hear what you are going through but at least now you know.<br />
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Stay Strong & Goodluck

Good point. You need to ensure that your lawyer can say that this car, whilst nominally "his", is traditionally used by you. It seems to me that IF he was using such a device for "honourable" reasons, it would certainly NOT have been necessary to secrete it away as he did! It seems to me your lawyer can demonstrate quite easily that his behaviour, whilst possibly "legal" is highly dubious in terms of morality and "fair play"!!!

I am very pissed off! I can't believe he would stoop to this level! At this point! <br />
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I have been behaving in such a mature manner. I am cooking meals. I am still doing his laundry. Everything at home is pleasant & amicable. There is a bit more of a frost in the air. Our interactions aren't as often. But there isn't any rudeness, sarcasm, or fighting. I keep trying to take the high road. But he has taken the low road ....

Hey new, don't worry about taking the high ground. You don't need to do anything for him you don't want to. He was not a husband, why should you play the good wife?

FM is 100% correct. Taking the high ground is ALWAYS your best action. Your demeanour when he is confronted about this should be dignified, regretful that he should be so insecure and as mature and detached as possible. You have EVERY right to righteous indignation! But your behaviour as a digfnified mature womasn who looks on her husband's unconscionable behaviour more in sorrow than in anger WILL win you Brownie points with everyone concerned - possible even your very soon TBX!!!!