Tired Of Only Having Sex With Myself.

I love my wife. But I am not sure she loves me. Now dont get me wrong she does alot for me and our kids but to be honest sex was good when we first got togeather. And for a while after we got married. But within a year it started to become less and les frequent part of it is I was in the military and deployments are rough my first deployment she cheated on me, I know she gave another soldier a bj and expermintated with a lady friend I found the pictures and she sent naked pictures to a guy I thought was my best friend. I got upset but to be quite honest I think I was more upset that it wasnt me she was having sex with. That deployment was hard on me emotionality as well I saw alot I would like to forget even today almost seven years later. So I admit that the man who deployed in 2005 has never returned home, less then a year later I deployed again but this time I really fell apart mentality and that lead to my retirement from service. At that point we pretty much stop having sex altogether. That was four years ago so either my wife nolonger finds me sexually actractive or call the CDC because she has had the worst cold in history. It has been made worse in the last year because she had some medical issues and had to have a hysterectomy.
I really beleave I am a stable paycheck and not to unpleasent to live with and thats the only reasone she is still around. So what am I to do I have some issues and taking care of myself is actually a little hard for me. She is my home health carw provider and while she does take care of the house and assist me with ordering my medication and what not. I was depressed today(just like most days) she asked what would make me feel better. So I told her a little steamy sex, her reply "do you.want me to buy you oreos (I LOVE oroes) I said no but a shower for two would help reply "how about a soda or ice cream"
You know what I am disabled true but I mow the lawn I take thw trash to the dump I get up with the kids I do the dishes and all I want is a little physical love. But no I get "I am not in the mood but I am ok if you want to look at **** and **********" but I am tired of only having sex with myself!
Depressedvet Depressedvet
26-30
2 Responses May 12, 2012

My one understanding of counselling where it involves two people is that you don't get to barter over it, over the terms of it, particularly in advance, at least without the agreement of the other party. I guess that is what you felt like at the time.<br />
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I would guess that for both of you, that you may be ambiguous about the future of your relationship, whether it survives or breaks up. I suspect that makes it difficult to decide where you want to put your focus and effort.<br />
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I think it would be difficult to put the issue of sex out on a limb when it is always going to be dragged back into the centre of things by psychological and emotional factors that impinge on it for both of you. Surely it is impossible to regard it in isolation from everything else, even if you want to?

That's rough. <br />
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Have you both had any counciling about her affairs? Or about your PTSD?<br />
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Trust me, we all get tired of ************ only.

I get individual counceling for my ptsd. I wanted couples therapy but she complained the ptsd counceling was directed at what she needed to change how and what she was doi.g wrong not what I needed to do and she refused to talk about her cheating