I Had Come From East !!!!

I understand now how hard it has been for you to believe that I was too good to be true for you ! I came from East ,Middle East ,where we die for our family and Love .You were my love ,and I was proud of giving you services and love as my love ,heart ,and husband ! The more I gave you love ,with my whole heart ,the more you were shocked ...I understand you now ...you could not believe somebody like me ,educated , beautiful , respectful,smart ,stylish from a wellknown family , from 7300 years culture would come and make you her whole life and love . I came from a backround that my husband was everything for me , meant life to me ,and i kept myself away from other men just because of him.I kept my body ,my soul , my spirit so pure an dclean just for YOU . I came to devote myself to you ,my only love in my life and it sound too unreal for you to accept . I understand why now ...because you and people like you had not seen and felt love that much huge and pure ....! My love was tons and your heart was so small that could accept only micro ! LoL 3 Months after marriage I asked you what the problem was that you would not want to sleep in bed with me or touch me ,and you did not say anything . I told you if I had any problem ,I would be happy to correct that ,and you said I was a perfect wife ! I was so stupid ( too modest ) to think maybe you had issues and problems ! I start to hate myself because I felt I was a prostitute in bed ...always I had to initiate ! I was 16 years younger ,and you were a healthy strong man ...what the damn was your problem ? I asked you to wash my back once and instead of joining me in the bathtube you bought me a brush ! I loved to shave your ears and nose just to have fun , touch you an dpamper you ,and you showed me your nose hair trimmer ! Were you crazy ? when I was in labor ,after I delivered my baby , I went back home , to funeral home to arrange his funeral ,since the time i was in labor till now I have not had any rest ...just working to keep you happy and comfortable at home . After a few month you said I had strong legs ....how stupid was that ? You had not seen my legs for 1.5 years before labor ??? How come ? Have you ever touched my hair ? Do you see my hair ? Have you ever touch my body ? I am sorry for myself that little by little I am getting older and older and nobody enjoyed my body ...my beautiful eastern clear and shinny skin ! I thank you for buying painkiller cream for my arthritis in my hands ,but do you know that my hands hurt too much that I can not rub the cream on them ? I need somebody to do that for me !!! I have Arthritis because since the moment I entered your house I have been working to make your house look nicer ! You know I just have you around ...first 10,000 KM far from my country and now you moved again 15,000 KM from my country ! And you always avoid me ! I would not trade the time that I could have coffee with you ,just sit and have a chat with you with whole world ,and you always wanted to leave me alone . My baby was dead ,still fresh in the graveyard while I was sleeping upstairs and you were watcing damn TV in the livingroom ? where was your pride when I had to cuddle our dog instead of our baby and cry to sleep ? One night I just wanted to call the police so that they come and take me to their office so that I could have some people ( alive human being ) around ,just not to be alone ...and i called the women shelter , I went there an dcame back home just because of my lovely dogs and still you were watching TV and did not NOTICE !!!!!

what is having an affair in your culture ?

Just sleeping with somebody else physically ? No ....each night that you ignored me and avoided me you were having an affair with TV or the games on your computer !

 Where did all the money go that I did not spend on my beauty , on my friends , on clothing ...on anything ...???? where did the money go ,the money that I could buy a ticket to go see my family after 4 years ? You spent them all on toold in canadian tire !!!!!! Now I have to be worried that I have no money and no place to go ....and some of the people in sexless marriage website they have left me some comments mentioning that I am lazy and I don't work although I am educated ...! Because since I entered his house I have been working .... I am tired ... I had PHD but where he was living there was no town around to work ....ao I worked as a cook , I washed dishes , I mopped floors ...to keep myself occupied ...and I am sick , tired ,weak ... I just need to rest ! Rest even for a day !!!!!!
betrayed73 betrayed73
36-40, F
6 Responses May 12, 2012

cultures aside, a man should love and honor his wife. provide for her in every way. financially, emotionally and sexually. that is the central part of the marriage partnership. someone you can love, trust and desire, for the rest of your life. I understand the sadness in giving your youth to a relationship that has failed to reciprocate. as long as you are alive, you have a future. make the best of it. with or without him~

Exactly ..That is why we marry the one we think he/she is " the one " otherwise what is the point to get married .
we need to feel desired,wanted,accepted ...what is the point to propose to a woman and then ignore her when she says " yes " ? It does not make sense ...A woman steps into a man's house to share her love ,care ,attention,soul ,and to create a family and enjoy the love in between !

you are right in feeling and believing that, but different ppl have different expectations of married life.
he may be depressed or just non sexual. It is your right however, to want and expect more...

yes they touched when i was little. lol.

You have the tools to make your life better. Don't wait too long to make your life better. You have qualities that men would die for.

...Not just any tools, Canadian Tire tools!

The choice of professionals...

Lady, I understand your frustration and yes you've been dealt a cruel hand by fate. But I also think there is a bit of 'my culture - your culture' in there. You married him knowing he was not from your culture. So he would inherit a different set of the good and the bad from his environment. Why do you keep refering to working in 'your house', is it not yours too? Why don't you make him responsible for participating more if you feel you're the one doing everything?<br />
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So you have the PhD. Get that going now. But you have to liberate yourself a little bit too. I feel you have made yourself a prisoner of your cultural upbringing and now maybe a little bit, of your fate. <br />
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Life can continue to be frustrating, or you can deal with it more. Go get a job relevant to your qualification, no matter where. As you become independent and self-sustaining, your healing will begin or accelerate.<br />
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Good luck.

There has not been any " my culture ,your culture " I am mentioning it now and here . Yes , I made myself a prisoner for him...which I used to think I was devoting myself to the life we had together !

Maybe he was just looking for a compliant, acquiescing housekeeper, maid, nurse? I will risk wielding a stereotype and say that there are rather too many Western men who believe in that stereotype of Eastern women in contrast to their independent, feisty Western counterparts - another stereotype. Just because it is a stereotype does not mean that some don't believe in it, sadly.<br />
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But you aren't even a woman "d'un certain âge", as the French would have it. You are also mature, intelligent and more important than anything, self-reliant and sufficient, or at least have the potential for that. It would be easy for you to start all over again, either in the country you are now a citizen of or where you are a native of. Well, not really easy but well within your capability.

It could be that he was just gay milk.

You are a strong women. I wish you the best in all of your endeavors.

Thanks !

You are most welcome. As I read your post I could actually feel the pain and frustration, it took alot of gut. You deserved proper kuddos.