Finally Had The Talk

It's done. No more living a fake marriage. I won't relate the whole conversation, but the ILIASM aspect was that it killed my spirit to lay alone so many nights. I couldn't feel smart, funny, attractive, successful, an exceptional parent or anything else good if I didn't have signs of affection and approval from my life partner. The quarterly hate-***** did not preserve any sort of bond. I'm not even feeling sad because I pre-mourned the loss of my marriage a long time ago.
Wilbury Wilbury
46-50, M
12 Responses May 13, 2012

Good for you man!! Best wishes. My wife and I choose the don't ask rule. I only have sex when she's drunk or sleep that's if her bedroom door is not lock. I don't ask her for sex any more and she won't ask me anything of my wheres and abouts. I know is not a healthy relationship. We get along on everything but sex.

at least you're at that step. you're strong and you can do this!

Did u get divorced?

On the way. Divorce is a minor step and can happen after all of the custody, support and division of assets issues are resolved.

Im not married and have no idea what such a division could be like... Maybe sad, scary, freeing but if i was in a unhappy marrage i would want it to be over with too

The big thing is the kids and not seeing them every day. That is why I have suffered through this for so long.

I do have a daughter but i being a mother would fight the blood out of his veins before he got custody of her.. However he could see her every day if he wanted.. Can u still see them when u want? Cant imagin u moving too far away? Still, the kids im guessing will grow to respect their parents choosing happiness..

It will be 50/50 in some form. Week on / week off seems to be what works best for kids to reduce the frequency of the transfers, but that is a looooooong time to go without seeing each other. Yes I hope the kids come around to that view.

2 More Responses

You are very courageous in your life's decisions. I admire that. It's takes strength that some of us don't have. May you find your dreams in the contentment of your heart.

I wish I could have the talk :-( I feel trapped in my relationship, well not that it really is a relationship anymore! Hope you find the life you are looking for! Xx

i have been there. i am so sorry for you but BUT there is nowhere now but to go up.

Found this a long long time ago. It might help.

I hope that whatever is ahead for you is amazing!

Good Luck, keep talking to yourself. Then a lawyer, and lastly your spouse.

To you, the marriage died a long time ago. Now, you're formally ending it. Good luck. Be honest with yourself.

You had a do-able exit strategy in your pocket prior to this 'talk', did you ??<br />
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Tread your own path.

what has happened? how long have you been married? are you divorcing? good luck