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My Marriage Is Going To End Today...on Mother's Day

I would normally never post from my phone, but today is the exception. I think my marriage is going to officially end today.
We were going to meet my dad and step mom for breakfast, they were on their way out of town from traveling to see me graduate, ( a 6 hour drive). Well we were up and she was getting ready...we only had a few minutes because we got up late. So I asked her a few times if she was close to done, then said that we needed to hurry because they were waiting in us. If you have read any of my other posts you will understand that her making us late for everything has taken its toll on me, (along with lack of intimacy), so she finally said "then just leave without me." Guess what, on mother's day I ditched her. To be honest I did not realize, in my hurried and sleepy state that today was mothers day, if I had remembered that I probably would have been more patient; in the long run though, this was probably best.

So I'm trying to get her to wake up now (4pm) to be at my moms in 30 minutes...she's not really moving...I think this is going to end up in a huge fight where one of its calls a spade a spade and gets going. I wish I had spoke with a lawyer last week like I had planned, but I will do what little I can from memory as far as what some websites have suggested...I don't know how to tell her to leave...maybe I'll have to figure it out as I go. The worst part is that se has herself in the best position for staying and custody because she doesn't work during the summer and I work nights and don't really have anyway to get my son to and from school everyday and be with him at night and when he's out of school I don't have anyone to watch him.

Well, I suppose I will figure it out.
inmytime inmytime 31-35, M 5 Responses May 13, 2012

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I'm a little confused. Why, on Mother's Day, were you expecting your wife to spend her day going to see your father, your stepmother, and your mother? If there ever was a day a woman should probably get a break from seeing her in-laws, it's probably Mother's Day. Your wife is the mother of your child. Did you at any point in the day celebrate her motherhood? Also, is your wife's mother living? Did your wife get a chance to connect with her own mother?

...Because mothers never put them selves ...first!,NEVER!.
...I spent my day cooking for my H's family for "mothers day" thats what selfless women do, is it wrong? yes, but we don't think that far.

Seriously?

In this case his college graduation happened to fall on mother's day. That's the college's fault not his. So the family was going to his college graduation.

well to be honest she didn't have to but wanted to, and we do not have contact with her mother...long story.

I thought he said that his dad and stepmom were on their way out of town after traveling there for his graduation; i.e., the graduation was not that morning. That's my understanding because they setting off right after waking up in order to meet the in-laws on their way out of town.

For me, one of the glories of Mother's Day is that is the ONE day I know I can sleep in undisturbed, and even get breakfast in bed from my loved ones. No way would I be scrambling to go meet the in-laws first thing in the morning on their way out of town. But that's just me.

Then she should say that she's not wanting to go and mean it. She should decide to enjoy her morning, not be passive aggressive and then get angry when someone does what she says. It was the graduation weekend. Family was in town. When family is in town, in functional families, you try to see each other as much as possible. Whether they were on their way out of town or it was the day of the graduation doesn't matter. Family was in from out of town on his college graduation weekend. She didn't have to go but if she's going to say go without me she needs to mean it. If she's going to say I would rather sleep in, enjoy mothers day and catch up with you guys later then she'd better mean that too. Saying one thing and meaning another is really immature and leads to these kinds of things.

3 More Responses

Classic manipulator behavour 101. Straight from the manipulators text book. Just go without me. A comment said but not meant & designed to set you up for a fight. Sure enough you will be the worlds greatest assho..le for ditching her.<br />
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For what its worth you did the right thing. My wife pulls this kind of behavour all the time and i just go. No waiting no argument. Just tell her calmly when she blows up you told me to go dear i dont understand why your upset at me for listening to you.<br />
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Before you make the call to ditch her visit a divorce lawyer and find out your rights. Start to prepare some form of exit plan. Involve your parents in this where possible. If they can help your life will be made easier, regarding custody arrangements etc.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

The sooner you can get poisonous people out of your life the happier you will be. She shows disrespect and a total lack of love for you. Go to a lawyer as soon as you can.

Just ignore the whole situation... and go without her again if she won't shift her ***...<br />
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...and just keep right on ignoring it... just smile and nod til you have your ducks in a row... and what VaguestBaby said...<br />
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Oh, and do try not to have it end on Mother's Day... your son will hear a rehash of what a bastard you were to cause it to end on Mother's day til hell freezes over... don't do that to the poor guy.

If your parents are reasonably close perhaps you can gain some allies in helping with the kid. There are also changes likely due to graduating and other stuff that will cause shifting around in your life pattern. Whoever leaves is usually the one that gets nailed in the end when it comes divorce time. If you can get her to go and leave the kid in your custody a lot of your battle will already be in your favor. That's unlikely to happen but just in case.