My World

I had a hysterectomy about 12 years ago, before that surgery i had over 10 surgeries in less then 8 years for a disease called endorimitriosis .I was in pain so often ,sex became less and less important.As time went on and i became ill with other medical issues, it became painful for me to have sex and as time went on we had sex less and less until not at all.We have a close marriage know, we talk we laugh we love each other. As my medical condition worsens and the pain increases my husband constantly tries to get me to rest to take things slower.I have always been a very active person, never one to sit for long.Many days the pain is so severe i just want to cry, but i don't and will not give in.I suffer from many medical issues, i have chronic regional pain syndrome, a disease that causes severe chronic pain and pain medication is not effective.I  also have reflex sympathetic dystrophy disorder which causes severe pain on the entire left side of my body.A simple hug or touch on my left side causes me pain.And i suffer from severe rheumatoid arthritis, and i have bone-loss so bad on my left hip it will need to be replaced in a few years and am only 41 years old. My husband and i have been thru alot in the 20 plus years we have been together.We have had our share of problems.But we have come along way and even though we are far from perfect we are happy.My illness in a way has brought us closer together.And am thankfully and blessed.Sex has not been apart of our marriage for a long time, about 10 years or so.But sexless our not we have a good marriage and a good life together and that's what really matter's.We aren't always happy and we have our differences but in the end we have each other a good marriage and a wonderful family.And that mean's the world to me.
deleted deleted
26-30
8 Responses May 14, 2012

...but I assume you actually love your husband and exchange at least something in touch...words ... that shows that.<br />
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Therein you are blessed...<br />
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Not all of us are equally fortunate.

So sorry that you do not feel better, I admire your attitude.<br />
When you say sex is not a part of your marriage ,do you mean no sex ? Not oral or anything? I would think there would be fun things to do that were sexually pleasing and not painful for you unless there is just no sex drive on either part.

Endometriosis does not cause constant pain and certainly does not make sex painful. I did have a surgery for it and it was a simple procedure that should not in any way decrease the quality of your life or your sex life. Endo may cause infertility but does not cause sexlessness.

the kind of pain you have to deal with, i can't begin to imagine what it must be like. thank goodness that you have a loving, supportive spouse who stands by you and understands what you're going through.

I have endometriosis and sex for me is not painful .I understand how much you suffer from pain tough . But when we talk about sex here , it does not mean we are sex freak or addicted to sex .... we need to feel wanted , touched,loved,desired and sex is just one of million ways to show them .<br />
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so sex is just one act out of other millions to show our passion,love,care,attention and acceptance !<br />
Good for you that you feel wanted and loved in other ways !<br />
Admire your husband and appreciate him!<br />
I hope you feel better and better day by day !<br />
At least thank God you have kids .<br />
I am same age as yours and no kids ...and ignorant ,careless husband !<br />
God bless you ,<br />
Take care !

I hope you can continue to manage your condition and fight for the quality of your life. You describe in some ways the chronic pain condition my wife suffers from, although she was spared endometriosis. It still had her bedridden for three years and she has been clawing her life back ever since. In our case, there is a great deal of unaddressed anger from way back that perhaps could have percolated out in the normal course of events as in any healthy relationship, but did not and remained trapped in both of us. <br />
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The difference now from a year ago, or two years ago, is that incremental efforts we each make seem to yield results we can see and feel. Two years ago I was without hope and had withdrawn as a way to stop the rejection. Today I tend to get pissed off much more easily, and then get over it much more quickly. It's more nearly a healthy response. I can actually visualize us staying together for the long haul and can see how that could be a good, even a wonderful thing. The deal killer is still there like an elephant in the living room, but we're both wishing it was gone, which in and of itself is a good development. So today I have hope and that is a reason to get up in the morning.

First I have to say I admire your strength and spirit. You have far too much on your plate, yet your spirit is strong, I shall say a prayer for you.<br />
I must commend your husband for staying at your side, he must be every bit as amazing as you are. Unfortunately men like him are far and few between you are blessed being married to a man like him and he is blessed to have a woman like you.<br />
The two of you obviously share a bond of great strength otherwise you would not still be together. Nice to know there are still people out there understand what making and keeping promise to each other are all about.<br />
God Bless you both

csb