Not Sex In One, Two And Three Years.

My husband and I got married 4 years ago. Before we date for one year and we have a long distance relationship with one visit per month. things were never "hot" but we had at least some sex. six months after the wedding I got pregnant and that wast it. No more sex.
During the pregnancy the excuse was the baby, after was my weight ( I went from 131.pounds to 176) I am 5ft.7" so i wasn't a cow but he make me feel like one. One year later I lost all the pregnancy weight but then he was under too much stress, then I got few pounds back (5) then this, then that...
I had tried all that I can, sex clothes, nice hair style, I worked very hard to loose the weight, I try to looks beautiful to him, But he keeps our son on our bed so I don't try to "rape" him.
I am 35 and he is 44 we are no old. I feel full of life and I used to have a healthy sexual life before him. Now we had have sex one time per year if I get something.
He is a good man and is not insulting me or neglecting me in any other way. He is a good father, he provide for his family, he cares about my health, he says I am pretty, he says he is blessed with such a wonderful wife. But... I will like some sex too! The worst part is that I start to think I want sex but I dont want him any more.Please dont missunderstand it, I love him and I dont plan on cheat on him is just that I cant see myself naked with him again, but I miss the feeling of being desired and when somebody touch yourbody with love and pleasure.
mylifemyfamily mylifemyfamily
3 Responses May 14, 2012

It is difficult. You end up 'protecting' yourself against their rejection by no longer seeing them as a potential sexual partner. And then you just don't want them anymore. Been there, done that. I don't think there's a road back from that. Maybe there would be with a partner who you could trust to desire you genuinely and not to rebuff your advances without a great reason. But once the trust and the desire has faded...I don't know how you come back.<br />
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It does sound to me like he's got some kinda 'complex' about having sex with a woman who is the mother of his child - kind of a 'sanctified mother' syndrome. Elvis had this. Your husband as lover has left the building.

I am very sorry for you. Although my wife and I have sex once (maybe twice) a month, I totally understand your problem and feelings. It is very hard to overcome them. I don't see myself changing (wanting less or no sex) and I don't see her changing and wanting to on a semi-regular basis> It really hurts and I know how you are feeling. I wish you the best.

I'm afraid it sounds as if he just doesn't have the same carnal impulse as you have. There is no wrong or right in that, it just means he looks at physical intimacy and sex in a completely different way from you as far as psychological satisfaction is concerned. Trying to fill that gap when it is not natural to you is probably very difficult in practice because it is not instinctive. Anthropologists believe that we are all animals like our more primitive relatives but that is to ignore the psychological and intellectual mastering of our very existence that we have achieved a long time ago, so in the same instance we are both animals and humans and reconciling the two, if at all, is, well, problematic.