why ?

when they were watching TV they would sit together and mostly my father would put his head on my mom lap,and my mom would rub my father's bold head and they would talk ,talk,talk about the movie or would forget about TV and would talk about other things while they were touching each other in a very nice respectful way in front of kids .
They are 70 and 60 and still they do .
My father was the bread winner all the time and he believed that if my mom was managing the budget well ,she was doing a hard job so she did not have to go to work ,but if she wanted she could .
It is a typical middle eastern life .
Men are so intimate and loving,caring ,and they communicate 100% with their wife...exactly opposite of what we hear on the news and it is all because of politics !
If a couple has problem ,the whole family try to help , both side ...so no need to come to a website like this and find help or talk ,open our chest !

Any way , I was just thinking about my society ...!

we all talk here and all have almost same experience ...But why do you think it is like that ?
why don't our mate communicate with us ?

why a man or a woman should not seek for help if she /he is depressed ? they are responsible for that
If a man can not sleep at night ,why does not him start touching his wife in bed and waking her up by a kiss ?
Then they either have fun,or talk a bit ,kiss a bit and sleep in each other's arm !

How hard,difficult or disgusting can it be ?

The one in bed is your spouse ,He/she is supposed to be the closest person to you ...in your vow you said " I do " In health and sickness ,in easy and hard time ...now you dont even bother to wake her/him up and ask for her presence and attention ?!!!!!

My husband is always awake in the middle of the night and I loooooove to spend time with him ,I have begged him million times to wake me up when he is up ,so that we can have coffee together ,talk,watch TV or just sit together "I would be quiet an dlet him do what he wanted to do ,just let me be beside you "  But he never wakes me up.
Why did you guys marry if you loved to be left alone and keep your distance from the one you tought you loved ?

betrayed73 betrayed73
36-40, F
5 Responses May 17, 2012

I had a great love life when we first got married- my husband had a breakdown and has never recovered emotionally...hence no intimacy now. I promised to stay with him in sickness and in health -so I do my best and talking to others on ep helps, but why he no longer wants intimacy, even hugs is beyond my understanding.

ask, and keep on asking<br />
seek, and you shall find...<br />
your questions can be pondered in various ways/both complex and quite simplistic<br />
thanks for the sobering effect your ?s had for me...<br />

If any of us here knew the answer to why our spouses ignored us, we would be working on it!. <br />
It's a mystery. <br />
All that matters is, he doesn't want to spend time with you.

Some people create an imaginary wall around them. They don't allow anybody even their spouse. My wife is one of them. This morning both woke up 15 minutes before our usual time. That's ideal time to talk, touch, kiss etc but she was just lying there. She got irritated when I tried to talk.<br />
You can't change these people. I am learn to live in that condition. I know It is difficult.<br />
We too came from other country and settled here in USA. I would love to spend more time with her but she won't allow me.<br />
We live in a same house a room mates.

"It is a typical middle eastern life ." So beaten wives are unheard there?<br />
"Why did you guys marry if you loved to be left alone and keep your distance from the one you tought you loved ?" Every guy should be asked individually... Generalisation never works well in marriage department...

what you hear is not true ! That is your problem ...you are not told the truth ...and you just have decided to love what you hear ... !
You guys out of middle east have not heard any truth yet !
It is not about Generalisation when it comes to marriage ,but it is not fair to believe what you just hear !
Men and women might be beaten every where in the world by their partners ,but depends on how they show that ,where they show that ...it all goes to politics where here is not a place to discuss !

Too many exclamation marks... Too many for intelligent discussion... Good luck to you, but I am out...