I Can't Understand Or Accept The Way We Are
From reading many of the stories here I guess I am in denial. My ten year wedding anniversary will be here this December unless the Mayans are right! My marriage is very cold and has been for years. I love her terribly but she is unable to return it. I find myself looking back wanting to have the old spark. I even drove to our old house the other day wanting to sense the woman I loved there and the life I loved there. The memories were great and I was by myself so I didn't have to deal with any of the usual rejection. Whatever books and magazines say women want in a man does not apply for my wife. I can't make her happy. She never even initiates hugs. Sec maybe once a month. Its very mechanical and she seems almost put off by it. My counselor has me practicing unconditional positive regard toward her but I still feel emotionally abused by her. The last six months I've gotten paranoid that she is having an affair or wants someone else but all of that is coming from me. I told her not long that I was the only guy I know in a midlife crisis who wants his wife to be his girlfriend. I'm just frustrated. Thanks for letting me vent.