I Did It Part Four

Yesterday, someone actually came up to me and asked if what they heard was true and if there was any chance of us getting back together? This same person was someone I talked about it.. two years ago with! All I could think is, WTF!?!?

I start my holidays and quite simply I am feeling overwhelmed. Its 5:30 AM Saturday and I want to run back to bed, pull the covers over my head and hide. He has literally collected boxes and left them everywhere. It is chaos to me right now. 

But, this is my choice! I have to keep reminding myself that this is for the best. It was my choosing. 

I think what pissed me off last night is how he told me he was looking for a house to buy, move out of the city and told me* that we need to get our ***** moving. It was cold the way he said it to me. I felt it was thrown into my face. It was a ****** night. It was plain mean. I guess until now, I was the one who told him we were not going to be together anymore or live together. That partnership is gone.

As hard as I am trying to be civil and act like an adult, I can see things starting to brew. Last night I saw part of the ugliness. 

I am flying out on holidays Wed and in the meantime I am going to pack one box at a time. 

Right now, I feel a bit lost. I feel as though I have to re carve my own identity. I feel as though I lost a part of me along the way.


seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
36-40, F
6 Responses May 19, 2012

So he's starting the petty bullshit already. Can you rent a storage space and take all the stuff that you have packed so far as well as any furniture/electronics that are yours to it while you are gone so that he doesn't take that, too. I agree with GA that it's only stuff, but if there's anything important to you, I would find a way to protect it. <br />
<br />
As for the TV, I'd politely tell him that since he is partial to the one he took to his parents' house, you'll just go ahead and buy yourself a new one. <br />
<br />
You'll find yourself. It's a big change, even though it's one that you needed to make. Give yourself a little time and a little permission to have some off days and soon you'll be better than ever.

Have you engaged a lawyer yet ?<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

Let him have the TV. If he forgot, then raising the issue won't help much. If he remembered, than he was being spiteful and the only satisfaction that will bring him would occur if you reacted. And a pitiful satisfaction it would be, too. If he doesn't organize his boxes, too bad. If he doesn't do a decent job of organizing yours, well, you didn't have to pack them. So let it go. Let your favorite chair go if he tries to take it. Give him the ironing board and the double bed if he has the energy to think of them. Just let the tangible things - the "stuff" - let it go. Take only what you need and get gone from him. But you might want to grab the stainless steel cookware; that stuff is expensive. You can give him that nice shiny aluminum stuff. ;=)

I have spent the last four hours on one room alone sorting and organizing. I pretty much keep to myself but this morning after he went to work I had a emotional breakdown. I am so tired and frustrated right now. He hasn't even lifted a finger to start organizing thing. Instead, he took the tv we agreed that would be given to me to start out with to his parents house.

Use your holiday to further yourself from him in your own mind. But avoid concentrating on how "wrong" or "bad" HE is. Instead focus on what YOU need and want, and how it is not happening in your current relationship.<br />
<br />
If you possibly can, resist the temptation to "buy into" his nastiness by responding in kind. Maintaining your emotional distance by not reacting to his goading is the best way to cope with this whole separation issue.<br />
<br />
Plus it will drive him MAD if he cannot engage you into a "knock down, drag 'em out" fight!! lol

Just know that after every " Good bye " There is a new " Hello " .<br />
You never know ...you are going to your holiday ,maybe God is sending some one for you there .<br />
seek your heavenly partner ...some one who is made just for you ...I am sure if you seek love ,you find love ....try to use this ugly experience to appreciate better men and chances more !<br />
Good luck !