Just Words

I am sick of hearing....I love you

I love you feels like just words..I love you babe, luv you honey, I love you soo much.

Sorry we didnt have sex. I love you though.

I miss feeling loved, being loved, being touched with the intent of making love.   God being touched at all. 

7Peaches6 7Peaches6
31-35, F
9 Responses May 20, 2012

"I love you” and "Olive view” mean the same thing to me when uttered by my husband. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Next time he says that say prove it right back to him!If he questions you tell him you know what i mean!Prove or stop saying it,that will be the beginning of something changing in your life for good or for better for you.Thanks for your story and sorry about what you deal with.

Empty is a good word. I am waiting for my husband to figure things out. He started counseling (privately and we're also going through marriage counseling). I've been told to be patient. I feel like I've been patient for two years. I left him two years ago, but shortly after found out I was pregnant. We 'worked things out' for the sake of the baby, and hopefully us. Two years later the same things are happening. I feel like a fool. I have no idea what to do. My heart goes out to you. I so understand what you're saying.

I have to laugh because otherwise I'd cry about saying "I love you"...if she did we'd be in the sack behaving like we love each other

My Father taught Me at a very young age that words are just that...words. One could say anything to anyone at the cost of nothing. Your words hold no weight next to action. Think to your self, how often do I trust or rely on someone who says one thing but does another? I have always considered Myself a Man of action, that any whom I may know will see the length of My step rather than the breath of My words. Love has no free pass in this matter. Think of your love for your spouse as a pie chart, your love for them is made up of a million different things and so you have pie wedges to represent them. All of those things, save one, only make up one half of that love. The other one half is the physical aspect of that love. It may seem steep that anyones love for another is 50% physical, but consider this...when your "other half" wont show you their love dont you feel half empty?

Thank you ...This is how i feel. Empty. I am missing my other half.

Are you open to a different viewpoint ? A functional adult does not need another person to 'complete' them. A functional adult is fine all by themself. An appropriate partner, who enhances your life is a great thing, but not vital to you as a functional adult. You don't actually need this ****.

Tell us then, what do you have that is so wonderful by being alone?

Self determination. The best thing going in life.

1 More Response

Words mean nothing. Judge ba<x>sed on actions.

My ex used to tell me she loved me but I felt the lack of weight behind her words but for may years I tried to convince myself that the words held significance. That lack of feeling which ought to accompany those words, means its time to listen to your gut. Take care.

Words that are not backed up with appropriate action are empty.

And worse than empty, they stop you doing what you need to do (and are likely designed with that in mind)

Absolutely correct hl

Sometimes, you need an interpreter to cut through the bullshit utterances of an intimacy averse spouse.<br />
<br />
Interpretation of - "I love you babe, luv you honey, I love you soo much" - goes like this.<br />
<br />
"I really like this marriage. It provides me with what I need in the way of social acceptance and a veneer of normality, and I do not have to act in an adult manner or take on that icky sex part of the deal either. Yep, it is a pretty sweet deal for me, and would disintegrate if I was called to account for my behaviour by my wife, whoever she may be at the time. I love my situation soooo much"<br />
<br />
As can be observed, YOU, as an individual, a person, a woman, a valuable human being, don't figure in the picture. You are just the enabling party to allow him to continue his behaviour.<br />
<br />
Given that you are now here, on this board, all that might be about to change. <br />
<br />
That'll be down to you, and your choices.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

I laughed so hard when I read your interpretation! Maybe because that is exactly how my husband is. It's nice to know that others out there can see through the BS. Thanks :)