Fifty Shades Of Desperation

So the well of optimism and hope has not completely run dry. I had been reading in several periodicals and seeing on some talk shows the much hyped novel Fifty Shades of Grey and how both men and women were reigniting their sex life based on reading this book. Well, my wife is a voracious reader and there are a few old erotica tomes on her shelf so I thought this was just the ticket. So among a few other things that she received for Mother's day I slipped in a copy of this soon to be the solution to all my problems with the off hand explanation that it was a best seller and I thought she might enjoy it. She had heard of the book and I was not thrilled when she acknowledged knowing of the book by calling it the new **** of today. This was not the only book she received and noticed that the other ones were read first. I observed closely over the next few days to watch when she would be reading the book. She finally read it and the only observation she made is that the author was not very good. Well, damn, that is what I wanted a literary critic of her writing skills.
Needless to say the book has been read and shelved and while it may have helped others it made no headway in my marriage. Perhaps I will write a novel based upon all my attempts at reviving an intimate status with my wife. Perhaps titled the above, Fifty degrees of Hell or Fifty things that will not get your wife in the mood. Again,the well is not dry but it is getting mighty shallow.
nocupid nocupid
46-50, M
10 Responses May 21, 2012

I tried by buy lingerie from Victoria's secret for her one year for Valentine's probably 4 or 5 years after we were married.....I was under the false assumption that women liked that. Anyway, I spend a LOT of money on a sexy/lacy bra and she just laughed at it. She said that big-breasted women like her don't wear stuff like that, and that it was a waste of money. That V.S. was just for skinny women with small breasts. She said she'd return it for a store credit and try to get something sensible. She even told me that she told her mom about it and they laughed together.

I agree about making a point - i've tried this week, not sure if its going to work.<br />
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I have to say, although the first 3-4 chapters were absolute rubbish and yes, she isn't the greatest writer in the world, I do not recall spending a single panting moment whilst reading that book in a literarly critique mode. <br />
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If your partner is just not 'there' when it comes to sex that book sadly probably won't help. If my husband read it he'd probably turn away from me even more, he's just not in that place at the moment...but i'm hopeful (or naive).

All the planning and gestures on your behalf in the world will not change her position if she has gone off you. The sooner you realise this the better.<br />
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It took me a while too but when i did i detached, than i rounded up the bill for her actions and presented it to her. <br />
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Now mysteriously she wants to play the model wife, cook, clean, try and have sex etc. I've been sleeping in a seperate room cause i want to make a point.<br />
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When are you going to make your point?<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

Clever devious plans to try and ignite the passion you just "know" she has in her.<br />
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Doomed to failure, because your premise is wrong.<br />
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She does NOT have the passion in her, probably at all, but certainly as far as you are concerned.<br />
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Sooner or later, probably later, you are going to "get" this. She is intimacy averse to you. You can do lots and lots of clever devious things to further prove this to yourself, or you could do nothing. The result would be the same. She will still be intimacy averse to you.<br />
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You are searching for a key to the lock. Fact is, there is NO lock. Just you ******* about with a handful of useless keys, wasting your time.<br />
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Her intimacy averse position is a fact. Is it a deal breaker for you ? Is it not ?<br />
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Tread your own path.

And FWIW, any husband who gifts his wife erotica should be REWARDED, damnit.

*pulls up copy, busily looking for page!*

I read all three in the trilogy, and enjoyed them for what they were, but then I'm not the refuser in the house.<br />
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I'm not sure why the media has latched on to these, even calling them "Mommy ****" a term I loathe. There is much better erotica out there, but seems she could've at least acknowledged your attempt.

Your wife was rude to make a comment like that, regardless it was a gift!<br />
I will gladly take that book off your hands, along with the others lol.

Ocean, I can send you digital copies if you want.

,...I love you....I'm sending you naked pics of me ; P

I just won the jackpot! Woohoo!

Marriage and intimacy should not be so damn hard.

The book didn't work but what is the problem ?

I feel your pain. Same thing happened in my house. The simplest answer is because the refuser does not love you (us). It took me a long time before I learned to accept it. When you do, you can begin to detach.