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Does Marriage Counselling Really Work

Hi

After i caught my wife having a 'harmless' facebook flirt with 'just a friend' i told her that i want to seriously consider seperation. Now she wants to go to counselling..so does it work?

Anyone out there that have had any success or is this just another ploy from her side to delay things.

Just a 'harmeless flirt' ... is there such a thing?

antonoli42003 antonoli42003 36-40, M 10 Responses May 21, 2012

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Oh for ****'S SAKE, people! Calm down! So what if she is flirting? Has she said she wants out of the marriage? Has she said "I'm never having sex with you again?" Maybe she wants to go to counseling because she has lost herself in the marriage, and found that she feels a little more like herself again when she flirts a little. Maybe she realizes that is a problem, and she has things she wants to work out. You go directly from "flirting on facebook" to "get a divorce"??? Yeah, real mature. No wonder there are so many divorces.

Oh, I got so angry for a second there forgot to answer your question: Yes, marriage counseling can work. It worked for me and my husband. You have to find the right one though, and you both kind of have to want it to work. Even then you aren't guaranteed success, but it can make it easier to decide what you want to do.

I have, actually. His wife is deeply unhappy in the marriage based on the information provided. There is not enough information to discern what led to the sexlessness. Nevertheless, the majority of the comments here refer only to the facebook flirting, which is not grounds for divorce.

Turns out she was ******* her boss according to todays story. 24th Sep.

After reading your other stories you are clearly deluded. If i could jump through the screen and slap you silly i would.



Just to spell it out to you there is no such thing as a harmless flirt. Most affairs begin through friends and flirting.



You are obviously in denial about what is going on. Man up brother. Find your testicals. They are just below your pelvis. Its ok to hurt in a relationship.



Whats not ok is to not face the truth and make excuses for the behavour we choose to accept.



You should consult a good dovorce lawyer than round up the bill for your wifes actions than present it to her. (By this i mean if you work and support her dont. Stop paying her bills, etc and look after yourself. Let Mr Facebook Flirt look after her)



Be Strong & Good Luck

In the context of your other stories, I reckon if you caught your missus sucking off some dude in your loungeroom you'd find a way to rationalise it.



Ring your lawyer, not a counsellor.



Tread your own path.

Flirting on FB shows how lonely she is, she wants romance, intimacy, and love and she is saying that she is available for some to come into her life, that spot is open for someone. I guess that means she is not looking for it with you.

When even Destiny agrees......



....there is no need of further questioning.

This woman has NOT just been having a "harmless flirtation". You do not need lube and sexy underwear to have a "harmless flirtation" on FB.



You have already been confronted with irrefutable evidence that your wife IS sexually interested AND available to someone (or someones) other than you. Your sexless marriage goes back eight years. Yet she is obviously seeking (and it would seem, also finding) sexual gratification elsewhere.



In your case I would go straight to your lawyer and do not bother with a detour via the marriage counsellor. And anyone here can tell you I am an ardent fan of counselling! But in your case the writing is so clearly on the wall that I cannot see how ANYTHING can save your marriage.

I wonder if there's a distinction between "counseling" which might well be good, and marriage/relationship counseling. I tried a bit of the latter, and it seemed just pointless, time consuming, (and expensive). The guy just sat there like a marsh mallow, trying to make sure we were each roughly equally annoyed at the end of the session - and trying to avoid expressing an absolute opinion on anything. There were always "free" paper tissues in a little box beside each seat.

Personally I am an advocate of individual counselling. And I also think it is essential to find a cxounsellor who is a good "fit" with you - I've had brilliant counsellors - and ones that were not very effective.

Yep, I have to agree with Destiney (!!??) - I think you're looking for an excuse. I think a little FB flirtation - while stupid (hey, why put this in writing?) - is actually pretty harmless.



But many of us break our marriages over trivial things. I knew it was finally over with my H because of some spilled popcorn.

I often wonder why there are adults that spend so much time on Facebook. Don't they have jobs, cleaning to do, spouses to do, and kids to look after?

Well, I get on here very sporadically. I barely have time to sleep 5 or 6 hours a night.

I have a full time job but it involves being in front of a computer so my task is made easier when jumping on here.

I meant no offense to anyone. I'm a bit grumpy tonight. LOL.

I know who you are talking about. hehe

lmao Maninfull. Touche.

I spend time on fb to connect with family miles and states away :-)

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Yes there such thing as a harmless flirt, just not here on EP LOL.

If it were harmless why would she offer to go to counseling right after, I don't think flirting requires counseling to make it harmless, maybe she's guilty in her mind and that's why she offered.

Yes she does want sex, just not with you, good one MSG

Gotta make this my signature.

Oh and to answer your question, I have read of people being in counseling till they die, some work some not even all the counseling in the world, but I guess it helps you cope.

Is your marriage also sexless? If yes, and she is the refuser, then I would strongly question her reasons for wanting to continue the marriage.



Because it sounds like if she is the refuser, yet flirts on Facebook, then it isn't that she doesn't want sex, she just doesn't want it with you.

I could not agree more. Right on the money