I Dont Want People We Know Judging Her

Long story short, niether of us have been perfect, I have expressed remorse for my rong-doings
She doesn't, I make jestures of love she doesn't, I do all the work in this relationship just to be rejected
time and time again. I don't want my kids to be without me, hell I don't want her to be without me. But it seems I've
tried everything and don't see much point in fighting for her anymore.
futurex futurex
31-35, M
5 Responses May 21, 2012

Well I left her, gained a lot of respect for myself and even a better relationship with my kids. Life is good:)

To err truly is to be human but if your actions are wilful and conscious it is very difficult to sell the notion of forgiveness as something compelling. If she PERCEIVES your past behaviour as bordering on abusive you are deep into dark territory.<br />
<br />
However, if she is using the existence of your kids as a tenuous string to hold together a relationship that you both find miserable and even hate, that is a form of self-punishment that is far from exquisite. How many more years will you and her have to keep it going on a festering, putrid, poisoning basis until you agree that the kids are self-reliant? Surely that is something that BOTH of you can't contemplate?

"I don't want people we know judging her"<br />
<br />
Stiff.<br />
<br />
Unless you have some omnipotent force that enables you to control other peoples thinking and actions. In which case you'd likely bring that into play by modifying your missus' behaviour.<br />
<br />
Nothing you can do about how other people think / behave mate. That includes your missus.<br />
<br />
You CAN however, do plenty about how YOU think / behave. Indeed it is the only thing that will get you through this.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

I mean I'm on here talking to strangers anonamously about it instead of people I know. All the mishaps in a marriage, isn't for certain peoples knowledge. I wouldn't want to tell people we know because all though we may not work out I wish her no harm

Sounds to me like she has made her choice. You have choices too. Which one will you choose? <br />
<br />
At the moment you have chosen to show affection to a non reciprical partner. Your outcome feelings and rejection.<br />
<br />
You could however choose to stand up and be counted. You cant change the way she feels about you but you can change the way she treats you.<br />
<br />
Stay Strong & Good Luck

Seems you care a lot more about her feelings than she does about yours. <br />
As long as you don't fight, she gets her way and you continue in your unhappiness. <br />
How long do you think you can live like this?

It's been apparent for over 2 of our 7year marriage. I'm at the end of my rope