Highfidelity

I used to have a low opinion of myself until I met my wife. I never thought I deserved to be treated as well as she treated me. That was 7 years ago. Now that she decided to become a hateful person, i know i deserve to be treated better than the way she treats me. Not only is there no sex in our marriage, the love is gone too. I work out and try to keep in shape while she sits on the couch and eats junk food and then she says im shallow because looks mean too much to me. well in every relationship there has to be some sort of physical attraction.  She has become self centered and everything is about her. She blames the lack of desire on depression medication. I told her to ask her therapist about possible alternatives and she usually avoided the subject. I went to her therapist with her and asked about side effects of the meds on her libido. The therapist said my wife has never mentioned our sex life at all, which proved to me that she doesnt care. I had the option to get a better (easier) position at work but it would require a temporary cut in pay until my training was finished but i had to turn it down because my wife said she would be getting laid off from her job within a month. Later i find out that she volunteered to be laid off just because she wanted to sit at home and do nothing. She insisted we go to marriage counseling so i agreed to go with her. WOW. What a waste of time and money! She didnt listen to a damn thing the counselor told her. I wash dishes, do the laundry, clean the house and take care of our son. I want to kick her lazy *** out but i know she will try to take our son with her. If i leave her, she will end up losing the house since theres no way she could ever afford it. She has no interaction with our son at all, she would simply take him because she knows it would hurt me and she doesnt want to look like a bad mother. I dont want to spend time away from my son but i feel like i am wasting my life.
highfidelity highfidelity
31-35
3 Responses May 21, 2012

You are convinced that your wife doesn't care about your sex life and your wife is convinced that you care only about your sex life.That sounds like a total deal-breaker there and then.<br />
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I assume that your wife is going to therapy in response to her depression. A lack of sex is not the cause of her depression (I assume), so why on earth would she have mentioned it to her therapist? And whatever the justification you have imposed YOUR problem on HER therapy and found it a waste of time? Really?<br />
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You really loathe her, don't you, but you are going to try to keep it going, SOMEHOW. It is hard to see how. The others are right, the only feasible thing you can do is to seek legal advice and see where it might leave you.

Yep. Lawyer. Get some facts.<br />
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Tread your own path.

Talk to a lawyer. Find out your options. The mother doesn't always get the child, and with a history of depression and not working, you may have more on your side than you think.<br />
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And staying for the children in an unhealthy relationship can be harder on them than divorce.<br />
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Good luck to you.