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Spy Software !

I am sure he knows I am planning on leaving !
I am sure he is spying on me ...on my e.mails ...writtings...lawyers ...!
But as he is dead cold relax and patient ,he does not say anything ,and I have tried to talk to him a few times but I become dumb when it comes to talk to him.
I become dumb ....I am no longer capable of speaking ....I forget the words...and he makes fun of me !
Sending him an e.mail is not a gread idea because he never answers and he ignores everything.
I believe there is no point to talk to him while I don't want to hear anything .

But I need him to pay for the dog's transportation ,I am just ganna claim for my doggies !
Good that he is spying on me ...I guss he knows that now !
betrayed73 betrayed73 36-40, F 6 Responses May 22, 2012

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I know what you mean: my wife loses her words when she gets excited. Both languages.



I sometimes find I have to speak English if I want to express strong emotions, just can't say it in German which is funny since German is my first language.

Be careful if you think he has downloaded spyware. It is very good and i know it works. Thats how i discovered my wifes emotional affair.



I would suggest you change your computer or cease using it. It doesn't matter if you have nothing to hide its all the other personal info he is collecting about you that you would not want him to have access too after divorce.



Stay Strong & Good Luck

what program did you use?

I uesd a program called Webwatcher. Its American. Once i recieved the disk i installed it on my laptop. From there it records everything sent and recieved. It works on anything Facebook, MSN chat email. Why do you ask are you considering this yourself?

Try using a public computer. You can try a library or a community college is there is one close by. You can even sign up for a class just so you can use their computer lab where there is some privacy.

You are showing serious signs of stress and anxiety; hardly surprising. Signs of transient amnesia , disjointed thinking, worrying about this spying. When you become conscious of it try to focus inward and tell yourself to relax, relax, relax. Concentrate on extending your breathing; deeper and longer. Tell yourself you function better if you can just relax from time-to-time and concentrate on the hear-and-now. It is very hard to do but it is worth just trying.



Also, you might try taking a leaf out of his own book because it at least appears that he is trying to play mind games with you, maybe trying to pressure you into acting peremptorily, to your cost. In fact, he sounds as if he might be trying to panic you. The next time he tries it, just smile at him and say nothing, absolutely nothing. Don't even try to find words on the spur of the moment. Don't be afraid to say "I don't know, yet" or "I'll have to think about that, first". Make thinking time for yourself. Quite often people who like to play games like this think they are good at it but turn out not to be.



As FM says, just assume your computer is compromised for the moment but continue to use it on that basis. An erase overwrite and low level format are sure to get rid of any contamination but it is taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Most spyware can't evade up-to-date AV software, even Microsoft Essentials. If it is your computer and you control the Admin password, change it. That way no further software can be installed on it. Also make sure other accounts such as the Administrator account hasn't been compromised or the Guest account. Make sure all security patches are up-to-date. You can use Microsoft baseline Security Advisor to check the security state of your computer. If you are using an Apple, I can't help you with the specifics but the principles will be the same.

I don't have anything to hide from him.
I am not crazy about privacy like most people are .I just see as soon as I post something here or send a friend an e.mail regarding me leaving him ,His behavior changes .
He can spy on me for ever.He won't find anything !

FOIA gives some very excellent, on-point advice. I know someone who is being emotionally/psychologically abused and was blackmailed into staying in a marriage she doesn't want to be in. She exhibits similar symptoms and worse. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to help her and the situation became dangerous for me, so we were forced to cut contact with each other. She has other friends, but I don't know how much they know about the situation, and to make matters worse, there are kids involved.

I say don't worry about it. Once things are finalized, get rid of your computer, or have someone wipe the hard drive clean, if you want privacy.

My STBX tried to download spy software on my computer but was unsuccessful at that time. I still worry that he managed to get it on at another time, but I do not have any proof. It makes me feel very vulnerable. His way of 'communicating' is to spy on me - not to try any kind of conversation? It says a lot about his dysfunctional communication methods when he has to resort to that. I don't know about your STBX, but we didn't communicate well before this current level or purgatory, and it sure isn't better now!