There's a lot of talk in some of the groups here about intimacy and mostly it seems to be about the lack of it. I suppose it means different things to different people because we all have our own perspective. To me intimacy with a woman I love includes the right to touch and be touched without restriction. I've always felt that touching someone is the best of enjoying each others company. I'm for Saturday morning wrestling matches under the sheets, and I would probably let you win. Because by participating you have given me a wonderful gift. I'm for sharing laughs that turn into hugs, that turn into kisses, that turn into (use your imagination). I'm for going places together just for fun, picnics in the park, a day at the beach, exploring antique stores, whatever we can do together. That's the key to it all together, and unless there is intimacy that doesn't happen much.
People these days tend to get distracted by all the rush of our little rat races that we build for ourselves and we forget what's really important. When we marry someone we are giving our being into the care of someone that we trust and cherish and we expect that they will look out for our welfare as we are expected to do the same for them. Which is right and proper, but so many people become so wrapped up in themselves that they have no room for someone else's cares and concerns in their lives and intimacy dies. We often lose sight of the fact that our mate is supposed to be the center of our lives. When we do that we hurt not only someone that is supposed to be our mate but ourselves because we then miss the best part of being married.
It often feels to me that what we are missing is the ability to play and enjoy just being together. I think being able to play together is a key item in developing an intimate relationship. I suppose I can be horrible at times I've been known to slip up behind my mate and slip an ice cube into the back of her pants or to do some other similarly dastardly deed. But it's an invitation to come and play, I would gladly take a water balloon if it means I get a good hug and maybe a sloppy kiss. In this day and age there is so little fun to be had that we have to create it for ourselves and I think that's missing in a lot of marriages. I might tease you because I know you blush so prettily but it's done from love, then I might want to explore to see just how far that blush extends into certain interesting areas that I never tire of exploring. As we get jaded by life we lose that sense of exploration and silliness that really makes life tolerable. I will write goober poetry and buy crazy gifts and do anything that I think might please you out of love as long as you care for me and make me feel loved.
Sadly many relationships have lost this magic and in many it was never there to begin with. But it makes life so much better and eases us through the tough parts. If I'm passing through the kitchen and I happen to see that lovely bottom available for a quick grope I probably will, it's not to aggravate you, it's a promise that I'm still attracted to you. If you find my attention to be an aggravation then it surely means that there is no longer love in your heart for me. If I seem inappropriate at times, well I probably am because my drum marches a little differently than most. The saddest thing is when people start pushing each other away and give up the best part of life. If I have given you my heart I have promised to find you endlessly fascinating, but I want more from you than to be tolerated. All I ask is that you be concerned for me and make an effort to make sure that I know it. Being lonely in marriage is the worst possible thing that we do to each other and there is really no excuse for this. If the day comes when you can no longer find it in your heart to desire me then set me free, it will hurt but it's far kinder than to hold me prisoner until I waste away.