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Help

I want sex and he doesn't act like he knows what it is. I need your help. What is wrong? We have been to counceling and no help there. Have not had sex in 5 years. Therapist focuses on him and his sexual desires. What is wrong ? I need help with this.

Christian not understanding!!!!!
Joyjones Joyjones 46-50 11 Responses May 23, 2012

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"Christian not understanding!!!!!" Not sure what relevance your religion has to do with how you understand your situation?

yes the counselllors speak in forked tongue

Your husband does not love you.





What is wrong? is that the counsellors know it and they refuse to tell you the truth.

Leave your sexless H with the sexless therapist. Get a divorce and find a new life.

Not sure how being a Christian figures in this except for guilt you might have.

What is wrong? You are looking for answers in the wrong places. Going to a marriage counselor for sexual problems is like trying to stop bullet with a flyswatter.



You need something more effective, like a lawyer.

Here is my suggestion. I am a male in the same situation. I dont want to screw up my marriage. The rest of it is great. I just am missing the sexual connection with another person. So I have decided to find a female in the same situation and just get together to share each other in that way. No other real connection but to enjoy each other. To make each other feal alive again. Now the problem is taking that chance and finding someone.

. . . and getting caught, thus screwing up your marriage, the very thing you want to avoid.

people who get caught i feel some where deep down inside want to get caught. Mine would be strickly a relatoinship of satisfying each other needs. Filling in the missing pieces that arent there.

Your husband sounds like mine. A sexual? It will not get any better with counseling and a five year absence. I am without for twelve years. Don't wait for another seven years. I am here to tell you it is purgatory, more like hell. Sadly more woman are out there. Check out the I Am A Woman In A Sexless Marriage site.

There came a point for me that I realized that I had to be responsible for my own happiness. At that point I started going out and did not hide it from my wife. I do not throw it in her face but I won't sneak and I won't lie. If she asks she will get the truth. She is free to deal with it however she wants. Life is better for me now. I did meet someone who has become very special to me and this sometimes causes me a little anxiety but it's much better than being asleep like I was.

What is wrong ?



Your husband is intimacy averse to you.



It's that simple.



If your question is actually "What can I do about my husband being intimacy averse to me" then that is equally simple. YOU can't do anything, the problem resides with HIM, not you.



That in turn brings you up to the line with everyone else here, facing the horrendously difficult choice between staying and going.



Tread your own path.

Dump your therapist and dump him. 5 years of no sex. You dont need a therapist. You need a doctor and a divorce lawyer. Invest your money there.



Why isn't he visiting a doctor to establish if there is a medical reason for his lack of sex drive. What has he actually done about this issue?



I dont understand how people can go many years without it and not divorce or offer up any consequences to their partners for their actions.



Mind you i have taken into account kids home finances but hell despite all that we all have a right to happiness. We only get one life.



I suggest your divert the money you have been giving to your therapist to a divorce lawyer for some legal advice.



Stay Strong & Good Luck

What does your husband have to say about all of this?

He says he just doesn't think about it. I think he has a self esteem problem. I really need some effection and I am going crazy when other men act like I am special to them and he just acts like I am nothing

Might want to consider stopping marriage counselling and get yourself into individual conselling to help you deal. You won't change your husband but the therapist can help you get to living a higher quality of life - with, or without said husband.