What To Do? What Is There To Do?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. We split up 3 years ago for almost 10 months. After that 10 months, we decided to try and work things out. We started to see each other again and the sex was just AMAZINGLY good. But now, I'm lucky if we get to have sex ONCE A MONTH! He tells me that guys think about sex every minute of everyday. So I worked up the courage to ask him why doesn't he want to have sex anymore? And all he would say to me is, "I just don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood" "I'm tired" etc. I love giving him blow jobs and I don't ask anything back in return. I know that it helps him sleep better and relax more. But a woman has needs too. I love having sex with him. I love hearing him moan. I'm crazy in love with him. I compliment him and when his self-esteem is down I do or try to bring it up. Make him feel good about himself.
I feel like when a relationship doesn't have "sex" in it, you don't feel more connected or closer to each other.
Sometimes, he would caress me in a way that no words can describe but thats it. Nothing more.
What is there to do? What else can I do or say?
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses May 24, 2012

You're around 21 and don't mention kids. End this. Focus on yourself, your education, career and a healthy relationship after that.

So you were somewhere between 12 years old and 15 years old when you first hooked up. Depending on the jurisdiction, that could be actionable. Some authorities take a dim view of people having sex with minors - for good reason. Minors do not necessarily have the ability to give INFORMED consent.<br />
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Anyway, that's history. What is still fact though, is that you have spent your entire adult life with this dude, so you can likely not see how dysfunctional your situation is. You've had nothing else "normal" to compare it to.<br />
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At this point, you have a sneaking suspicion that this 'ain't right'. Your suspicions are well founded.<br />
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Read in here. Read lots. Get a handle on what you are dealing with here, and get a glimpse of your future if you let the situation roll on.<br />
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In regard to your key question - "What is there to do? What else can I do or say? - the answer is, regrettably, very little. It ain't you who has the problem. It his him who is intimacy averse to you. He alone chooses this position, and he alone is the only one who can change his position.<br />
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ba<x>sed on your story he seems perfectly happy with things. And why would he not be ? He has all the perks of being married without being held accountable for his inactions. Pretty sweet deal for him really. He can just do what he wants when he wants in the full knowledge you will chase him, mollycoddle him, be his doormat, and suck him off now and again. He has set an extra-ordinarily low standard for himself, and you've thus far endorsed it.<br />
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Keep reading. Keep learning. If he has not yet muddied the waters by having kids with you, then don't have a kid with him until and unless this has been sorted out.<br />
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Welcome to the jungle.<br />
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Tread your own path.