I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Incriminating Evidence!!!

By: Schenker

Written on May 29th, 2012

Hi all,
My partner has her boyfriends car while he goes
To work up north for 1 month. I must be an idiot, or in
Complete denial, she maintains a relationship with him, which
She swears is platonic even though they were "f***g" on
Their holiday 1yr ago. She has told me it was a mistake
And silly me forgave her.
Anyway, I had to fix something in his car and found
A hotel reciept in his name with her business address and
Paid for by her MasterCard .This was 31/11 last yr.
I have to leave this fn mess, I love my kids , but lying to me
Is not on. She said she wants to be with me, I've had a year of
Emotional roller coaster shite and enuff is enuff!
My poor children, I really can't do hard worker,child minder,housewife and
Get no love from her in return.
There is no alternative she's taken me for a fn fool, lied
Put me off the scent and maintained her relationship. No wonder she's fn sick all the time
Because living this double life is taking its toll on her guilty conscience!
Gonna have to do co parenting, maintenance and live elsewhere .
I won't be goin to sell house she had the business and got the finance ! I just want my name off The
Title and be the best dad.

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By: Schenker

Age: 51-55 , Male

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22 responses

Apocrypha

Dude, I'm in a somewhat open relationship with my wife, but I drew the line well short of tolerating any sort of interaction (whether platonic or not) with her affair partner AT ALL, and continue along that line to this day. Relationships like that are like quitting cigarettes. It's too dangerous. I'm pretty open minded and flexible with a lot of things (perhaps too much so), and I even gave it a shot - on the condition that he and I sat down and hashed things out - to tolerate a friendship. But I realized very quickly, it was too much, that he was not to be trusted, that I would NEVER trust the two of them together. Whatever they had was enough to make her choose to betray me, over the guilt she would suffer after. When they later emailed each other and I found out, it very nearly ended our relationship. She needs to believe you are capable and willing to do it, with very little provocation. It also sounds like you need to shift the onus to her to prove to you, rather than you digging around in her stuff. If the assumption is guilt, what would she need to do to prove to you that she isn't banging him?

May 30, 2012
1 like
- Schenker
  Man! As much as I am trying to forgive , the damage has been done, the trust is gone , yes! I need to leave she thinks I'm reliant and scared, I am ! But I've given myself a year of contemplating and there's no alternative! Once a cheater etc!
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
- Apocrypha
  I don't know about that "once a cheater" stuff --methinks if the root issues are addressed between you, or her alone, things might get better. Persistent ennui does not take away the desire to cheat though, and you can't make her. It's fine to be scared, that's normal. But you MUST make it clear that the game has shifted - no warning shots - be prepared to truly follow through.
  There are ways of having your cake and eat it too, but unless you know you get off on sub/domme cuckold kink, this is not a pairing that can last. You need to get your nuts back.
  See a lawyer and a financial advisor. Have your questions ready - there are lots of resources online to help you find out what you need to ask. Secret Divorce is a good one. Find out what your expenses will be and who would pay whom for child support and for spousal support. Figure out what custody arrangements you can live with that you both might agree to, so you can avoid litigation as much as possible. And frankly, maybe you want to kick HER out of the house and live in the ****** bachelor apt, if she's the one who wants to wander. Is her partner married?
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
ninaanddaryl

I know you are hurting, but it is only because the denial you were comfortable with was taken from you (when you were faced with the evidence you could not dismiss). But the fact is that you have known for a while that she has been ******* him. It has kind of made her a little more sexy in your eyes too. But, a guy is not going to give a woman his car for a month if she does not make him *** on a regular basis. I suggest that you talk with her and let her know that she must never disrespect you and that you will let her be close friends with him, but she has to put you first.

May 30, 2012
1 like
- Schenker
  The guy is horrendously obese, to think she wants to **** him is beyond me, I wouldn't **** someone like that with your ****!
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
zsuzsilowinger

Your first visit to a divorce lawyer is usually free. Get all your questions in order and go visit one - or two or three. Then you can figure out where you stand without spending money.

May 29, 2012
1 like
Frustrated1978

Yes you are a fool and have been taken for one. Why on earth would you let her maintain any form of friendship with an Ex Boyfriend? Why are you even fixing his car especially after you know they had fucke..d behind your back before that. The only reason you should be fixing his car is to cut the brake lines or installing a bomb. Gees

You have contributed to your own misery just as much as she has with your acceptance and encouragement of her disgraceful behavour. I say encouragement because you have babysat, supported her, and allowed her to continue a relationship with an Ex Boyfriend without any consequence. And before you say it ( She claimed it was Platonic) my answer is still the same. No Ex Boyfriend friendships Period.

As for your self pity about having her take you off the deed and you would be happy i say grow some balls and man up. Visit a good Divorce Lawyer, find out your rights and fight like hell for custody of your kids. If you really want to focus on being a good dad why would you want to leave your kids in her care???

My opoinion, total up the bill for her actions and present her with the account owing. Just so you understand this involves doing all of the above.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

May 29, 2012
3 likes
- oceansun
  ....OMG someone didn't take their happy pill! Frustrated, are you that frustrated, come here, you need a hug (HUG)
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Frustrated1978
  No sweety i'm fine today just cant believe how naive some people are. In short i get upset at how this bloke from my home country of all things is being used and how naive he appears to be. Just gets my blood boiling, not trying to be mean.
  Just trying to motivate him to stand up for himself
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- oceansun
  ...I hear ya, I wanted to slap a guys wife the other day after he took her away and pleasured her all night then she said Goodnight and turned her back, I ******* saw blood LOL, you're not Italian are you?
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Frustrated1978
  No Aussie with a Greek background lol
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Schenker
  One thing you cannot do is control people! Ring or no ring.I know what you are saying about balls etc, but I don't want the stress and pain on the kids selling their home and uprooting them. She is a great mother and will continue to be. I have more of an objective view of the future.We are both in it , but eye for an eye isn't the answer.You have some valid points
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Schenker
  I've had police arresting me at my home and screaming arguments, the dust has settled a bit, and that's a good thing! Takes courage to find peace ya know!
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- oceansun
  ...WHy were you arrested?
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Frustrated1978
  I hear ya and respect your point of views. As people we all react differently to situations. You obviously are in the process of forming some sort of exit plan.
  Regarding being arrested i understand where you coming from are laws in this country are very biased and favour women regardless.
  Stay Strong & Good Luck
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- Schenker
  She caked the cops cause if my reaction to her affair . No fn contest I was the bad guy !
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
- Frustrated1978
  Sucks bro. What did she expect your reaction would be when recieving bad news, a tea party and a pat on the back.
  If its any comfort my missus is the same. Gives out plenty of shi..t than gets offended when i have a reaction
  Stay Strong & Good Luck
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
7 More Replies
bazzar

It appears that you have the bare bones of an exit strategy thought out.

See a lawyer in your jurisdiction, flesh the proposal out a bit, knock it into do-able state, then enact it.

The rest of your life is waiting for you.

Tread your own path.

May 29, 2012
2 likes
- Schenker
  Lawyers cost a fn fortune ! I'd rather the kids get the house and I will be able to get on with my life.
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like
- bazzar
  Then you best see a lawyer less "Mr Platonic" ends up with the a stake in the house.
  
  May 30, 2012
  1 like
MissLee

Ugh. Where do these people come from?

May 29, 2012
2 likes
- Schenker
  Venus so I'm told
  
  May 29, 2012
  1 like

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