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I Am Not Broken

Today is day one. Day one of feeling whole again. I no longer feel as I did - broken, unloved, and deprived. I have awoken, to learn that I do not have to ever again be controlled by my ex, not do I have to be controlled by any in the future. I do not ever again have to be in a disfunctional relationship, and I won't be be allowing any one else to dictate my feelings of self worth.

I've said it before - get out. You won't believe how it feels to be free. Free from being run down, rejected, and manipulated. I basically lost everything through my marriage, and Only got it back through divorce.

Your refusers are literally destroying the inside of your head. Put your foot down and stop letting them use you.
FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 13 Responses Jun 2, 2012

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While I am sorry for what you have had to go through, I am very happy to hear that you have gotten yourself out of a crappy situation.<br />
It takes a lot of strength and it very commendable. <br />
It is so hard to read about the pain you have felt because it is so palpable in your stories. But without knowing you, I can say I actually am happy and proud for you.<br />
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It is better to be be on your own and be happy and healthy, than to stay with someone and be miserable.

so happy that you were able to take a stand and branch out into a new life. Best of luck to you.

Congrats I know it's hard but so worth it. I walked away from a bad marriage almost a year and a half ago, I believe I am going to find the love of my life, it's so much better because I have hope now! Keep your head up believe and know you can do it on your own,expect good things

That is what I hope for. And that is what I have: hope.

this has meant so much for me! being alone is better than being rejected! i will always remember that. tnx!!!!

And just because we leave, does not mean we will be alone. Once you are out there people will be beating your door down.

I have finally said no to my refuser and am moving out. It has been sad, and liberating at times. Lately I have started to feel stupid for believing all of his excuses and lies. He is all about getting me back and making sure he looks sad and mopey at all times which lately has me feeling awful. Your strength made me feel better tonight. Thank you:)

Don't feel stupid...he was just a really good liar.

Bravo to you for your escape. No more walls! Keep us apprised of your life. You are giving hope to countless others who are struggling. Good fortune to you! Thank you for posting your freedom.

Indeed.<br />
<br />
You either pay the pain bill as it stands today, or you pay it later when more punitive pain interest has accrued and compounded on the principle making the price then, way higher than it is now.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

Thanks for sharing this FM!. <br />
I no longer feel rejected, neglected, manipulated or used; feeling lonely is a small price to pay. <br />
<br />
Keep following your bliss!

Being "only lonely" IS so much better than being rejected... absolutely...<br />
<br />
Feels good to finally get here doesn't it...

Yes, yes it does!

....oh stop rubbing it in you two: p

'Tis true, 'tis true... lol

Gives me hope. Thank you, and you have my congratulations. I know it was hard earned.

This is great, I am very happy for you. You are speaking my language with this update....I feel like I am not that far behind you. I can see myself feeling and saying the exact same thing , soon I hope! Thank you for posting.

Thank you so much for posting this! It is good to have a reminder that life is better in the other side, especially since it feels progress has stalled for me....stbx is foot-dragging, and my full-time job hunt feels to be going nowhere (I need one to survive once out). But enough about me! Congrats to you and I am so glad to hear you are doing so well. =)

It is a long road, and I'm not doe with it yet...I still need a job so I know how you feel!

I have one now, just is super part time and so not enough to support me on my own...tough out there, for sure. Good luck!

I am so happy for you. And, that you posted this... it is hard to imagine a life without your 'other' - to walk away and leave that person behind. How will it be to sleep alone every night? And have to make and eat all your meals... alone? Now, of course, you have a choice. Living with someone who cannot or will not give the things we most need... is living alone anyway, only much more painfully.

Exactly. Sleeping alone is a luxury right now. Being only lonely is soooooo much better than being rejected.

And, to top it off? Not actually lonely.

I can tell... and I love that. It is such a comforting, hopeful thing.

Pleased for you. I remember commenting a couple of months ago that you still love her, but reading your stories, she wasn't good for you.

And yes, being lonely on your own is far, far better than being lonely with someone.

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