Time To Let Go.After 7 months of trying to keep it together for the baby, (coming in about a month,) I finally realized it was time to let go. It only happened after he told me he was, "incapable of being in a relationship with me," (he did say anyone,) but it's truly ME, at this time. I would love the freedom of just walking away from it all, but unfortunately, I'm an executive and the breadwinner and I can't walk away from a beautiful six year old and a house or my pregnancy. He's been sleeping on the couch for almost a year. We stopped touching months ago.
I know it's time to recognize I have everything I need to survive, (a great job, a beautiful home, good family close-by.) I'm luckier than some. Plus, I pay for all the finances. His minimum wage, (literally) job didn't cover his own bills, let alone anything in the household, so I've been paying everything for almost a year.
It's a unique position right now- needing the comfort and affection and knowing being about 20 lbs over what I normally am, I'm not as attractive. I keep telling myself that had nothing to do with it all, but before I was pregnant (and he went into rehab,) it was all so different. Now, he won't even touch me. He screams, won't look at me. I think most people feel that although it's a sexless marriage- at least if their significant other TOUCHED them, encouraged them... things might work out.
Just a sad, sad night.