I Live In a Sexless Marriage
In any dysfunctional relationship there is the pain of the individual slights that started to, and continued to, add to your emotional pain. The averted lips, the put down remark, the dismissive gesture, the sexual refusal, the uncaring and irresponsible behaviour. This is the pain principal. The individual behaviours.
You can calculate this cost any time you like.
Then there is the interest on the principal. This, is the hidden cost that accrues every day on the principal pain of the individual assaults on your core. This interest is applied at userous rates. And you can calculate this cost any time you like.
Then, as time goes out, there is the compounding interest effect, as the cost includes interest on the interest. It compounds, and increases your pain debt exponentially. And you can calculate this cost any time you like.
The principal, and interest cost you can calculate any time you like.
That is the price of your ticket out of there. Today. Here and now.
Now you might seek a higher credit limit to manage this pain, you might adopt a policy of only making minimum payment on the bill as a method of delaying payment, but you ARE going to have to pay it. And the price is only ever going up.
"When" is the question for the refused.
On the other hand, the refuser too is running up a big tab too. Either obliviously, and not even thinking about it, or deliberately, working on the basis that they are never going to have to put their mitts in their pocket and pay. Every thoughtless remark and action is driving that bill up. There will be a day of reckoning. This cost will be in the huge upheaval and upset of their life when the cosy little world they have constructed by their intimacy averse actions collapses. They are banking on no-one ever totalling up the bill, and presenting it to them. After all, no-one yet has.
"When" this might happen is the question for the refuser too.
The refuser controls the accruing of the bills for both parties. By their behaviour. The refused gets no say in this accrual process.
But, the refused DOES control the "when" the bill(s) is to fall due and payable.
At that point, the refused pays their pain bill, is done with it, and moves on to the next phase of their life.
At that same point, the refuser finally gets their pain bill. What they do about it is entirely down to them.
Tread your own path.
You can calculate this cost any time you like.
Then there is the interest on the principal. This, is the hidden cost that accrues every day on the principal pain of the individual assaults on your core. This interest is applied at userous rates. And you can calculate this cost any time you like.
Then, as time goes out, there is the compounding interest effect, as the cost includes interest on the interest. It compounds, and increases your pain debt exponentially. And you can calculate this cost any time you like.
The principal, and interest cost you can calculate any time you like.
That is the price of your ticket out of there. Today. Here and now.
Now you might seek a higher credit limit to manage this pain, you might adopt a policy of only making minimum payment on the bill as a method of delaying payment, but you ARE going to have to pay it. And the price is only ever going up.
"When" is the question for the refused.
On the other hand, the refuser too is running up a big tab too. Either obliviously, and not even thinking about it, or deliberately, working on the basis that they are never going to have to put their mitts in their pocket and pay. Every thoughtless remark and action is driving that bill up. There will be a day of reckoning. This cost will be in the huge upheaval and upset of their life when the cosy little world they have constructed by their intimacy averse actions collapses. They are banking on no-one ever totalling up the bill, and presenting it to them. After all, no-one yet has.
"When" this might happen is the question for the refuser too.
The refuser controls the accruing of the bills for both parties. By their behaviour. The refused gets no say in this accrual process.
But, the refused DOES control the "when" the bill(s) is to fall due and payable.
At that point, the refused pays their pain bill, is done with it, and moves on to the next phase of their life.
At that same point, the refuser finally gets their pain bill. What they do about it is entirely down to them.
Tread your own path.
By:
bazzar
Age:
56-60
,
Male
