Digging In.Things in our marriage are gradually changing.
The therapy that my husband has been attending, has been affecting him deeply. It seems like this relationship crisis has been his wake-up call. He's finally starting to NOTICE... He's noticing me, his own behavior, and his feelings. He's becoming more aware of things that he's done only out of habit and unawareness all these years.
It is strange to learn these new things about the man I've known since we were both 18. I'm discovering how much he's avoided saying, how many true feelings he has hidden. Sometimes we argue-- but it's like friendly arguing. We're pushing at each other, back and forth with ideas and trying to drive our points home. This is the first time in our whole life together, that he's finally willing to even *engage* in an argument. It feels fantastic.
We sat down and made a weekly schedule of house chores. We talked about what would work best for each of us. It's been a major problem in our home life, because we've tended to do chores the least efficient ways possible. Now we've got a plan that minimizes the inconvenience, and distributes the work according to what we're each able to fit comfortably into our days. We're both working hard to keep this up.
We've taken a common interest in some new health efforts. We found a new way of eating that works for both of us, and we've both been getting trimmer. We look at new recipes together and discuss exercise, supplements, and the latest material we've read. We've both been feeling better and better, health-wise. And it's like a hobby we have in common, to which we're both really dedicated.
It's not time for sex yet. He's been in therapy for three weeks so far, and there's still more ground to cover. I'm certainly not ready to get back to physical intimacy yet. This has to be an organic process. We have a lot to repair, first. There's a lot of healing to do. But we are really, really working on it, TOGETHER.
Lately, it's gotten so much easier to say, "I love you." It doesn't stick in my throat, the way it did for the past couple of years.