I Don't Want To End Our Relationship Yet I Hate Staying In It!
It sounds so simple! If you're not happy then just make a decision. But how? Because if you love someone and you have spent years of your life building a life together, how can you just leave when the going gets tough? I've started to hate what he has become and I hate myself even more for what I have become but I still stay. Everything about us or almost everything works but the intimacy. I've waited 3 years for him to overcome his fears or insecurities but still no progress. Why is he so bloody scared of the woman he claims to love with all his heart. I'm fed up, I'm tired, I'm lonely, I feel guilty that he feels this way around me. He won't leave and is adamant that it will be resolved. That feeling of being at the end of your tether, it sucks! Why the hell won't he just do something, anything, just a glimmer of hope could easily restore my faith in us. What should I do? What more can I do? The tears have finished, the anger is pointless, the patience feels unappreciated. I don't want a medal for hanging in there. Maybe just a little acknowledgement for existing. Am I shallow for wanting to be able to make love to the one I say I love everyday. I don't want to feel this anymore. I've become a miserable, angry, boring, nagging, monster trapped in my own skin. I want to be free.