Update On My SituationI recently posted about having an "affair" with a man in a sexless marriage.
As I noted, despite intense sexual, emotional and intellectual chemistry, we had yet to have actual intercourse. A lot of fooling around and some oral, but nothing else.
Taking the advice of some here, I gently approached him about it. We discussed it at length, but there was no real resolution and he clearly "panic."
What I learned: Despite all his talk, and playing the victim in his marriage ("Marriage is perfect. Wife just doesn't want sex." and "I haven't even so much been kissed in years."), I now believe that he had a hand in the situation. I also believe he has major intimacy issues. He could have sex with someone with whom there was no emotional connection, but not those he cared about. (Note: Having dated a lot, guys, if they think there's going to be sex, they're knockig down your door. They find a way to make it work.)
The relationship is over. When I brought up a "sex talk," he more or less panic. Sad, I liked him as a person. But his issues were becoming the issue.
I am moving on. It's been a heck of a learning experience and I think everyone who offered their insight and advice. I'll know better next time.
ponnye 46-50 5 Responses 2 Jun 8, 2012