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How Many More Years Could I Live Like This

My husband n I are coming up on our 5th anniversary. Seems like I'm the only one that seems excited. My husband is 15 years older than me, n he has lost interest in me. He has low testosterone, n no interest in sex at all. We have sex once a month. He has no drive at all, n doesn't want to. Shortly after we got married, things became this way. It kills me to lay next to him, n can't have him. I'm so exhausted of this conversation with him, it goes nowhere. He doesn't seem to care about how I'm feeling at all. I'm tired!
Lonelywife35 Lonelywife35 26-30, F 12 Responses Jun 9, 2012

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Answer: As long as you wish. Death need not come in the way.

it never got better for us. and it has been tough, years of trying, hoping, thinking it was me. i had my husband move out yesterday. the writing was on the wall many years ago, and we are separating shortly before our 19th wedding anniversary. so how long can you go? could be long...be careful. and i am sorry by the way, the situation is certainly not what i grew up wishing for, nor what i want for my children.

His losing interest in you has nothing to do with his age.<br />
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Now, what actions are you going to take to improve the overall quality of you life?<br />
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With, or without, said husband.

Wow. I can't imagine. I am a 36 y.o. Guy. I've been married for 12 years. I had a spinal cord injury (paralyzed from collar bones down) and have bad erection problems and can't ********* even when I do "raise the flag." :). My testerone is a bit lower now but sheesh I give 100+% in doing what I can to please my wife. I do not understand Abled bodied guys that are not having sex at least daily, it is such a beautiful gift. I say if your spouse isn't interested in connecting with you find someone who is. My wife has a hard time with us, she would be gone if I did not try my best. I could go on all day about sex but I'll leave it at that unless someone has questions from a guy. :)

my guy is 62 and im in my 50s, he has retreated to his rocking chiar.. uggg trying to convince me that i belong there too .. NOT!

I agree. You're young and you certainly don't want to lose a large part of what life has to offer- I did and I regret it. You've stated your case, he ignored it so it's up to you to make the next move. Good luck.

Why on earth are you "excited" about an anniversary of misery ?<br />
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An exit strategy. Now there's something to get excited about.<br />
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Tread your own path.

That being the case I think you need to begin working on your exit strategy, and don't drag your feet on it or you'll look back and the prime of your life will have passed you by. I speak from experience. It's just not worth it. Life is precious and much too short. If you don't have kids, don't start now, it can and will only make things worse. If you have kids, then don't have any more, not with him anyway, and don't allow it to convince you to prematurely write off having a happy and fulfilling life. Obstacles can always be overcome, regardless of how insurmountable they may appear to be. Good luck to you.

I've told him time n time again, all he says is that I'm nagging him. He's gained alot of weight over the years, he won't do anything about it. I've offered to work out with him, just anything I could do to help him, but he refuses. When I'm telling him, for a couple of days, things will be good, then it's the same old story. I also know that actions speak louder than words, I just feel like he doesn't love me anymore. A change is needed.

Unfortunately all your efforts will not change his testosterone level... Obviously he does not feel any problem with it... It is your problem. You can solve your problem to leave him as he is and move on... Very good luck to you! Don't waste your young precious life counting sexless years...

You could live like that for many more years, if you can call it living. I have been living that life for 14 years, and it's slowly killing me. I need to get out, he doesn't want to let me go. Good luck. Leave if you can.

You didn't say whether you've shared your frustrations with him and how he responded. If you haven't then you need to and you need to be very clear and direct about what your needs are without beating around the bush. A man who's lucky enough to marry a hot younger woman who likes sex should know full well what he's in for and be prepared to bring his A game in my opinion, or he's asking for trouble.

Run... He will not change...