Lets Try This Again - Thank You Take 2!! :)It came to my attention that some ppl were having trouble with my original post so I am re-posting this and giving it another try :)
So I have been revisiting this site for the past few days. I haven't been here in so long it almost seems like another lifetime after everything that has happened. My story last year was pretty similar to everyone else, how to deal with my suddenly sexless marriage after 17 years. Last year was very difficult for me emotionally. Reading the stories of others on EP really helped me to get through some seriously heart breaking days, and for that I love all of the people here. I just wanted to thank everyone, those who share their own stories, and those who offer opinions. I read back on some of my own stories and realize that often I was in such a defensive state because of my situation that I automatically felt as if I was being attacked from people that were only offering their opinions, and if I did that to anyone that might be reading this now, I honestly apologize, I was in a really bad place.
As for my story, my life has completely changed. My husband and I worked through a massive amount of our issues and for the most part we are making our way back to the place we were before last year happened. I am no longer in a sexless marriage, however things have changed. I have forgiven him for the way he handled our situation, in fact I really love him for not just leaving me when he was going through all of those negative feelings about us last year. However, somewhere in the process I changed. I became stronger, I became more independent I think, it would hurt if he left now but it would not completely immobilize me like it would have at one time. I love him, he is still my best friend, and our marriage seems to get stronger almost everyday, but there is something that is lost to us now, and I really do not know if that will ever come back. That makes me a little sad, and I really hope maybe with every year that passes that little something will begin to rebuild itself for us. I do not know yet, but I really do think that I am happy again, which is a step in the right direction. I know this entire paragraph is back n forth between I am happy now, but a little sad at the same time, and thats exactly where I am. I do not think anybody can go through what we all go through in a SM and not find themselves in some kind of peaceful place between happy and sad.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell everyone here how much they helped me last year. If I had not been able to find EP and others in the same situation I truly do not know what I would have done. You are all such wonderful people and I hope no matter where you are in your own situation, you have found some kind of happiness. I read someone's story that said "life is just to damn short to live so f*#@ing miserably", and I agree, so I hope everyone can find some kind of happiness in their situation.