Was talking today with a friend over lunch about the separation. She admitted until I told her we were separating she thought we had one of the great marriages. That there was a lot of love.

I told her that there is and was a lot of love. I love and loved him, and in his way he loves me too. But sometimes love is not enough.

She also stated that of all her friends that are divorced, she thinks me & STBX can pull of the friendliest of divorces; that our case is one where this could work.

I really, really hope so.
zsuzsilowinger zsuzsilowinger
36-40, F
10 Responses Jun 13, 2012

Does this not give credence to the basic fact that people generally know jack **** about other peoples lives.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

I am sure that is what my friend will be telling me when I tell her I am contemplating leaving HB. I don't think anyone is the wiser that life is not ideal behind closed doors. I know he won't like it, if I decided to leave him. His parents divorced when he was about 10 or 11 and I know he is a big believer in trying to stay together for the children's sake.

I hope you will have a peaceful divorce. My EXTB canceled my credit card because I filed for divorce. I think it is going to be ugly.

It's been said lots of times here in ILIASM: Loving someone doesn't automatically mean we're supposed to be married to them.

The family and friends that we have told of our impending divorce were all likewise shocked. I think people confuse outward appearances of cooperation and family togetherness for love. W and I were the best of co-parents and roommates, sharing child-rearing and household maintenance duties with the most equitable division of labor and teamwork but in the end that is all we were - partners, yes but not really friends and certainly not lovers. Our divorce is so far very amicable because nothing has or will substantively change between us apart from our addresses, we will go on being involved and cooperative co-parents, we didn't need to be married to have the relationship we had.

I thank you for the *short* post, enjoyed reading it twice actually,<br />
I wish you all the best.


One of my friends recently told me in a plaintive voice, "But there is no _(MsD) without _(MrD)"...<br />
<br />
If they only knew.

omg I recently was told something similar - "well i guess i only told your h about it because inthink of you as one unit" - scary to think what great decievers we have all become

Some of my closest friends said the same thing about us too.

well it may be wishful thinking on my part then to put faith in whatwas said - but the thought of a huge struggle is terrifying. I guess we are all good actors around here

I hope it all works out for you.

thanks - for you too hon

I truly hope sio, for both your sakes. My Ex and I have the friendliest of divorces and we are both happier for it IMO. I give him full credit for not being bitter and for not trying to "punish" me for leaving. You both have to work hard at it - it doesn't come easy!! But it is VERY worthwhile. Sending you heaps of good wishes that you will succeed.

great to know it can be done, you're an inspiration!