I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Love

By: zsuzsilowinger

Written on June 13th, 2012

Was talking today with a friend over lunch about the separation. She admitted until I told her we were separating she thought we had one of the great marriages. That there was a lot of love.

I told her that there is and was a lot of love. I love and loved him, and in his way he loves me too. But sometimes love is not enough.

She also stated that of all her friends that are divorced, she thinks me & STBX can pull of the friendliest of divorces; that our case is one where this could work.

I really, really hope so.

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By: zsuzsilowinger

Age: 36-40 , Female

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15 responses

bazzar

Does this not give credence to the basic fact that people generally know jack **** about other peoples lives.

Tread your own path.

Aug 5, 2012
1 like
atthecrossroads

I am sure that is what my friend will be telling me when I tell her I am contemplating leaving HB. I don't think anyone is the wiser that life is not ideal behind closed doors. I know he won't like it, if I decided to leave him. His parents divorced when he was about 10 or 11 and I know he is a big believer in trying to stay together for the children's sake.

Aug 5, 2012
1 like
narcissusandme

I hope you will have a peaceful divorce. My EXTB canceled my credit card because I filed for divorce. I think it is going to be ugly.

Jun 15, 2012
1 like
Chai07

It's been said lots of times here in ILIASM: Loving someone doesn't automatically mean we're supposed to be married to them.

Jun 14, 2012
2 likes
oneslashtwo

The family and friends that we have told of our impending divorce were all likewise shocked. I think people confuse outward appearances of cooperation and family togetherness for love. W and I were the best of co-parents and roommates, sharing child-rearing and household maintenance duties with the most equitable division of labor and teamwork but in the end that is all we were - partners, yes but not really friends and certainly not lovers. Our divorce is so far very amicable because nothing has or will substantively change between us apart from our addresses, we will go on being involved and cooperative co-parents, we didn't need to be married to have the relationship we had.

Jun 14, 2012
2 likes
oceansun

I thank you for the *short* post, enjoyed reading it twice actually,

I wish you all the best.

Jun 13, 2012
2 likes
- zsuzsilowinger
  thanks!
  
  Jun 14, 2012
  1 like
msdamgoode

One of my friends recently told me in a plaintive voice, "But there is no _(MsD) without _(MrD)"...

If they only knew.

Jun 13, 2012
3 likes
- zsuzsilowinger
  omg I recently was told something similar - "well i guess i only told your h about it because inthink of you as one unit" - scary to think what great decievers we have all become
  
  Jun 14, 2012
  1 like
ZigMcZag

Some of my closest friends said the same thing about us too.

Jun 13, 2012
2 likes
- zsuzsilowinger
  well it may be wishful thinking on my part then to put faith in whatwas said - but the thought of a huge struggle is terrifying. I guess we are all good actors around here
  
  Jun 14, 2012
  1 like
darktippedrose

I hope it all works out for you.

Jun 13, 2012
1 like
- zsuzsilowinger
  thanks - for you too hon
  
  Jun 14, 2012
  1 like
enna30

I truly hope sio, for both your sakes. My Ex and I have the friendliest of divorces and we are both happier for it IMO. I give him full credit for not being bitter and for not trying to "punish" me for leaving. You both have to work hard at it - it doesn't come easy!! But it is VERY worthwhile. Sending you heaps of good wishes that you will succeed.

Jun 13, 2012
3 likes
- zsuzsilowinger
  great to know it can be done, you're an inspiration!
  
  Jun 14, 2012
  1 like

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