Rejected Yet Again...

I don't understand him. It's impossible that he doesn't have enough energy and having sex and an ****** would relax him as well, and he would sleep better too.



As someone else said, I'd be all over this!!

From the male persective, my refuser's excuses were usually "I'm really into my book and only have five chapters left and can't put it down" to the legendary "I'm not feeling 100%", which was about 364 days of the year.

He asked me what was the matter today when he woke up... I told him if he actually cared he wouldn't have let me sleep on the couch last night. I told him everything I was feeling how rejected I felt and how he continues to hurt my feelings. I told him it wasn't just about the sex... It was about the bond we get when we do and since we aren't having sex very often we are losing that. I told him I know he loves me but I don't think he is attracted to me anymore and he just laughed... Said "you are crazy!" "I'm just exhausted from work, kids, ext." well im exhausted too and I still want to have sex... then he started in on his age and how maybe I need to get him something to give him the energy... All I heard was excuse after excuse... im so damn tired of the excuses... He uses more energy thinking up excuses then he would just to put out! lol :)

If I was exhausted after a 10 hour day and had to go back in 5 hours, getting a text like that would wake me the hell up. FOIA, no man should ever be "too tired", you can please a woman without having to spend a lot of time if you know what you're doing(not saying you don't personally). In fact, I'd think even if it was a shorter stint than she would like, the fact that he did it rather than getting some needed sleep would make up for the lack of time he could devote under better circumstances.



Rain checks are only valid if there is a healthy sex life, otherwise, they are just another way to put off one's duty.



I've had my share of physical work in my time and I can tell you it never would keep me from pleasing my wife. It's a lame excuse.

I love how he even bothered to wake you up just to give you a lame *** rub and then roll over and go to bed.

WTF.

I mean, I understand he might be tired from a long day, I understand that. But why in the hell come home and wake you up and not do it then?

But you know, even if he did do a quickie, while any sex may be a nice change, it would likely leave you disappointed and more resentful because he would probably get his rocks off in a couple minutes and you would be left unsatisfied.



I think you should take some time away, not just for him to think, but for YOU to think. Tell him why you need the time away and that you need to think about things and you suggest he do the same. Tell him exactly what you said in this letter.

Come up with a plan and try to come up with a timeframe in which to allow things to improve before you leave for good.

He could have at least been honest and said "no" instead of momentarily appeasing you with a faint version of what you wanted to hear. Even worse than a flat out refusal was when W would say or do things to put in my mind that things would happen later then pffffft nothing. After years of begging, cajoling, enduring, and counseling I changed the only thing I could - divorce will be final this August.

"A rain-check is easy when you're getting some" hl42, ain't that the truth !

A rain-check is easy when you're getting some, when you trust the other person.



You ain't and you don't. Time to make plans to change the situation.

Not making excuses for him because I have no idea what happens the other 364 days of the year but if I had just done a 10-hour shift (doing what - something physically gruelling or sitting on his arse) and had to get up in just 5 hours time, I would probably say "No" as well. It wouldn't be personal it would just be practical. Of course he could shag you in a couple of minutes flat but I don't think you would appreciate the process or the sh1tty outcome.



If he is pissed off at you for your lack of understanding as you are pissed off at his lack of understanding you can call it quits and then start a cat fight or a bloody war. Seems almost inevitable.

Never trust a man who does not sleep with his wife.

As sure as night follows day, when you initiate, you are going to get refused (apart from mebbe 1 in 30 times where you get to bury your face in the pillow as he has a 60 second doggy).



Your next bit of research involves not a dictionary, but rather a phone book, and the word to look up would be "lawyer".



Tread your own path.