Oh It Just Never Ends Does ItSo, today I was FURIOUS with STBX because of the car buying incident.
What incident you ask?
Well, for those not following along, my car was totalled about 2 weeks ago. I found a used car I liked, but when my dad came to look at the car with me, he noticed the brake discs were "scored" (or "scarred" - uneven circular wear).
When I asked the salesperson, he said they would fix it.
Well, after deciding I wanted that car, I made sure they did a full check on the car & fixed everything. They stated they had replaced the front brake discs, and I got that in writing.
Went to pick up the car yesterday, and it looked to me like nothing had been done on the front disc brakes. When I insisted that the sales manager come out to look at the car with me, he insisted that "the discs had definitely been replaced, that wear would improve as I drove it, it was just from sitting out in the lot". The salesperson/manager kept getting more and more defensive with me - "I've been here 9 years, our service is super trustworthy, no way they could make a mistake!!!" when I pointed out that it looked to me like the REAR disc brakes had been the ones replaced (all shiny & new).
So what is STBX doing? Looking uncomfortable, trying his best to get me to shut up as he cannot stand any tension. So I feel like I'm being a real harpy here, maybe I'm doing something wrong insisting that the brakes are f*cked.
Manager gets frustrated, refuses to deal with me, and goes away (NOTE: I never yelled - I was just super firm). STBX says "look, we just need a car right now".
So then the district manager comes by with the report and points out that the brake discs were replaced in April, that this is normal for a car sitting out in the elements.
So I say "well I thought they were replaced yesterday, ok, if you're sure that there's no mistake..."
So I get home, and my father blows up when he hears about it. He is great with mechanical (& electrical & well everything) & he says "no, that scoring indicates something really wrong, that needs to be fixed, they are complete liars".
So, well my father is the one who fronted the extra money for this car (YES I KNOW I'm a grown woman and I AM ashamed of relying on him for this - it's a first - I've been unemployed 2 years) - and all of a sudden I feel this INTENSE shame, plus MORE WORK for me - I've been busting my *** to get this car, through concussion, through all the paperwork of the insurance, through all the b&llsh&t from the accident ... I go online and sure enough, pics of that type of scoring with people saying that this is a problem for sure....
So now I will go next week and have a mechanic or another dealership look at the brakes and get a 2nd opinion.
WHY did I spend 10 years backing down from everything just because HE cannot STAND to have any stress in HIS life???? Then I get 10x the amount of work.
THIS time though I told him EXACTLY what I thought of this type of behaviour. I told STBX that this was MORE work for ME, that I have learned my lesson and that it is NOT a good dynamic when he cannot stand any form of stress and I need to get something done, etc.
This whole thing is just dragging me so far down. I've been battling concussion and resulting inertia for 2 weeks now! I haven't done anything - look for a summer job, work on my business, sign up for courses, go exercise (still too injured) - this just made me go "over the edge" and I was just b*tchy all day after that ...
Worse we went for a picnic lunch with some of my dad's friends & my dad & I got ANOTHER lecture about those f*ckin disc brakes. I finally lost it and said 'what do you want me to do, dad, I will be taking it on Monday to a mechanic, I'm just boiling mad myself, what do you want me to do????"
ETA:// as you can guess, STBX has put ZERO dollars into the purchase of this car, much as with the first car we bought once married... it is ALWAYS up to me...