Leaving Was The Best Thing I Ever Did!!!Leaving my sexless marriage took two years. Dozens of hours of crying. Sleepless nights tossing and turning in fear.
Nervous breakdown over finances.
And, a year of being totally heart broken.
And, it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it.
I am happy. My ex is happy. My daughter doesn't like we are split, but in a lot of ways, SHE is happier.
Life is not perfect (when is it ever)? But, it is good. I am getting to know myself all over again. I am starting a new career. The friendships I fostered during the last years of my marriage have held and I have a wonderful and diverse group of supportive, loving people who share my new happiness.
And, I am totally in love with a long time friend and now boyfriend for the past seven months. Wonderful guy. Healthiest choice of a partner I ever made. And, get this......regular sex. Really hot and good regular sex! It goes far beyond the sex, but it is there. Strong and burning like it never was in my marriage.
Oh, to be truly desired by a man I love! I never thought it would happen. But, I look in those green eyes and his pupils literally dilate! He looks hungry. It still surprises me.
We are starting to talk about the future. We both want the same things. We want each other (all the time) :)
It was excruciating leaving my ex. I loved him and in some ways, I will always love him. But, we were terrible romantic partners. And, it does my heart good to see him happy with a new girlfriend (a friend from his teen years). I wish them the best, and I mean it. The end was so awful for both of us.
But, it was honest. And, if there is any advice I can give that might help someone make a good decision about staying or leaving it would be this.....
Be honest with yourself. Really honest. Don't live on hope and empty promises that never come true. It was crystal clear by the time I left that we were never going to have a romantic, intimate life. I didn't expect a fairy tale, but I did expect physical and emotional intimacy from my marriage. I was willing to compromise a long way, but once you compromise yourself and that is all you find yourself doing, it is time for a reality check.
And, don't let the fear of change and loss dictate your choices.
The energy you put out comes flying back. Courage and love to all of you and as always, my deepest thanks to everyone on this board who wrote to me during my darkest times!