Leaving MyselfDear ...........
I will never forget the day I met you,
I was heart broken, lost and alone.
You came out of nowhere and scooped me off of my feet,
You had a way about you I just couldn’t resist, and you still do.
We have been through so much, its been a great ride,
Highs and lows, ups and downs,
some what rich and poor, but never apart.
We have grown TOGETHER,
We have a family to call our very own,
A beautiful daughter and a gorgeous son,
just saying those words brings a smile to my face.
We did good ..., we did good.
And now 11 years later, I am not that young girl anymore,
That lover, best friend, partner in crime,
Secret keeper and key holder to your heart, is gone.
I am a very devoted mother, caregiver and house keeper…..
Sadly you choose to ignore that I have become a woman,
And you choose to ignore this beautiful woman every day and every night.
Maybe you think she will never leave, and maybe you are right,
But know this, you are destroying this beautiful woman,
Beating her into submission will only make her numb, and absent,
And our children deserve better than a distracted not all there mom!
I have yet to explore being a women,
To be able to think and talk and act like one,
A woman who knows what she wants, and has no shame or fear
In asking for anything, a well deserved milestone I’d say.
But before I can embrace “womanhood” with open arms,
I suppress it, crush her hopes and dreams before they even happen,
because “that” is better than the truth.
I am not worthy of your love.
You have destroyed what’s left of this wonderful woman
she has loved you unconditionally for 11 years,
and has been there for you and stuck by you when NO ONE else did,
defying her family and personal beliefs for you.
And now, you hear her cry herself to sleep night after night,
Feeling unloved, unwanted, out of place,
and chose to do nothing.
How can you sit there and just listen?
Have you no heart at all?
Have you no love or compassion left in you?
How can she love you knowing these things?
How can she look you in the eyes with love,
and even want to touch you knowing this truth?
You have been lucky all along, and you know it,
but you can’t see the part YOU have played in her decline,
and now that you have lost that wonderful girl you once loved,
its all “the mother of your child’s” fault.
YOU HAD IT ALL,
ONLY BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOU "EVERYTHING"
her heart, her soul, her body, her trust, her family, her devotion, passion, and unconditional LOVE, but you strut around like she is NOTHING,
I admit, it’s a long list of things to have to take,
and it was probably too much for you, so what did you do???
You threw it all away, and for what? I wish I knew.
She made you the MAN you are today, never forget that!
I wish you would release me from these invisible chains,
I wish you had an ounce of mercy left for me.
Because you are right I will never leave, I will just die.