Back Streets Of London

It's a Wednesday morning, south of the river. London still has something close to its old medieval street plans in the area around Southwark Cathedral and Borough Market. This is the world of Shakespeare's Globe. But add a layer of 19th and 20th century office buildings and roadworks and train stations on top. Truly labrynthian.

I'm with a man who is not my husband. We have found an empty corner of these back streets. We are making out. I'm wearing a wrap dress. It wouldn't take much. I can see his hands reaching to gently pull on one of those ties. I'm a little worried. He stops himself. I don't have to say anything. It's only a fleeting moment but I can see has to wrestle with himself to put his hands elsewhere.

Despite myself I think of my husband. I can't remember him ever needing to practice restraint in a secluded but public place. I don't think he's ever had that kind of desire for me.

I've acknowledged this for some time, but it still causes a twist of grief for the marriage I wish I'd had. He cannot understand what I need, so he cannot give me what I need. And now he's an unloving jerk as well who keeps me paralysed by making my life difficult and cutting me so low I feel useless to proceed.

I want to step out from the back streets and live a life - a full life - out in the sun. Or at least as much sun as London has to offer.
elkclan elkclan
41-45, F
5 Responses Jun 24, 2012

Great story Eklan, It makes me horny just thinking about it. :) Making out with someone who wants to make out with you...priceless! That kind of intimacy is out there, those people are out there, unfortunately we just aren't married to them. It's really up to us to change that.

"He cannot understand what I need, so he cannot give me what I need."<br />
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Wow. Moment of clarity in one comment. All that is needed is to change "he" to "she", and that is it in a nutshell. The problem for me, as always, is what to do with that clarity. Still not planning on leaving...<br />
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That was a lovely read, poignant and bittersweet. Much as I enjoyed the backdrop and the imagery, you had me at wrap around dress! Somewhere, somehow, there's a gentleman in your future who just won't be able to stop himself. Good luck to you in finding the happiness and fulfillment you seek.

I suspect this fellow will get his chance to unwrap the dress ;-) but it wasn't really the right time or place. Neither one of us was keen on getting arrested. :-)

I realize this isn't the point of your story, but that was a beautifully written piece.<br />
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Can't you and H separate? If you're staying together for the kiddies, please know that had my parents called it quits years ago I wouldn't have despised my dad and resented my mom for forcing me to tolerate his We've moved past it now, but I would probably be a better adjusted individual if I hadn't spent the first six years of my adult life loathing the ones who squirt me out. <br />
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I hope you're able to find what you're looking for.

He will not let me go easily. He has told me essentially that he will make things as difficult as possible.

So why don't you have some fun with some friend? I mean no matter what people say sex in a sexless marriage should not be seen as something bad, at the end of the day is a frustration for yourself and perhaps a lack of respect from your partner. Just because he feels that way doesn't mean you have too!

This story is very old now. As it happens, this guy did get a chance to unwrap the dress and I am still seeing him.

Glad to know it turned out well, am sure it was relieving for both of you. I am in a similar position, for now I just hope to have the same luck someday ;)

omg, what a deeply disturbed (or selfishly manipulative) person. I assume he's refused therapy?

2 More Responses

Don't give up that dream. I know it can become a reality for you. Yes, it may take some time, but hold onto that and keep moving forward, even if you have to crawl on your hands and knees.