I Live In a Sexless Marriage
About six months ago, I set out to improve the relationship with my spouse. We had 'The Talk', and it yielded great benefits; for about six weeks. After that, things have bounced around, some months good, some less so.
I was briefly sick about a month ago, and although I'm fully recovered, it appears that my relationship is entering another dry spell. My wife is blaming the coming onset of menopause. This might be legitimate, but from my perspective, it's yet another ailment to add to a very long list.
As part of my six-month plan, I decided to make my decisions as if I was still a bachelor. I'd do things that make me happy, and worry less about trying to change myself to fit my wife's desires.
One of the tasks for me to accomplish over the six-month period was improved fitness. I had looked at pictures of myself at the beach, and was slightly dismayed to see an average toneless middle-aged guy. Not that I looked terrible, but it wasn't anything to write home about. So I embarked on a plan to have a short 30-minute work out every couple of days. I avoided elevators in favor of stairs, and cut down on the sodas, which were part of my daily lunch routine.
The resulting physical transformation has been uplifting. While I still have a ways to go, you could place me as an extra in a beach movie scene and it wouldn't seem too out of place. My wife has barely noticed, and has made just a couple of comments about me being more buff.
There's something else that has changed. Suddenly I'm noticing the enhanced interest of women all over the place. For example I was walking through the airport the other day, my eyes looking into the glass of restaurants and shops. In the reflection, it became apparent that nearly every attractive woman I passed stopped and looked up at me. At first I wondered if there was something wrong, or maybe my attire had some issues. But no, it was just me, dressed well and walking confidently through the concourse to my destination.
I took a day away from work to accompany my kids to a local theme park. My spouse doesn't like roller coasters, so it was just the kids and I. It was a record breaking hot day, and a lot of the people had worn bathing suits so they could get wet on the water rides. By noontime, it seemed that nearly every teenage girl in the park was walking around in a bikini. It was a strange site, and not where I particularly wanted to hang out.
I sat down on a bench next to a very old grandmother to wait while my kids got in line for a water slide. The line was long and the wait was about half an hour. A short while later a pretty slender redheaded lady sat down next to the elderly woman. I glanced at the pretty red hair and couldn't help but notice here stunning figure in a bikini. A sheer fishnet dress loosely covered her swimwear. I glance up and she's looking right at me. Her blue eyes dart away. A couple of seconds later she looks back and I glance away as well. This eye-dance repeats a few times. The young lady seems to be in her mid to late twenties, and despite my normal shyness, I manage to start a mild conversation. She's visiting from the mid-west, and chats about her plans for the next couple of days. I'm married, so this isn't going anywhere, but it's nice to remember how it feels to talk with someone who looks deeply into your eyes. I'm reminded of what I'm missing.
The next day I'm in the grocery store, my young son in tow. With just a couple of items, I get lucky and find a short check out line with a pretty girl. My cashier is a young brunette twenty something. I pay with cash and hold out my hand for change. For me though, her routine changes and she acts a little different. She stares into my eyes for a extended period of time. I'm slightly unnerved. Without looking away, she holds my outstretched hand while gently placing change into my palm. She slowly draws her hand away, allowing her fingers to run the full length of my hand. A tingle runs up my arm. She's way to young for me, but the attention is really nice.
There are a lot of other examples, but you get the idea. So now I'm wondering is there is something fundamentally different about me. If this just a reawakening to the lust and passion of my dating years? Am I radiating some subtle signal that says I'm emotionally available? Or is this just a sign that my plan to change myself has really worked; just with unintended consequences?
I was briefly sick about a month ago, and although I'm fully recovered, it appears that my relationship is entering another dry spell. My wife is blaming the coming onset of menopause. This might be legitimate, but from my perspective, it's yet another ailment to add to a very long list.
As part of my six-month plan, I decided to make my decisions as if I was still a bachelor. I'd do things that make me happy, and worry less about trying to change myself to fit my wife's desires.
One of the tasks for me to accomplish over the six-month period was improved fitness. I had looked at pictures of myself at the beach, and was slightly dismayed to see an average toneless middle-aged guy. Not that I looked terrible, but it wasn't anything to write home about. So I embarked on a plan to have a short 30-minute work out every couple of days. I avoided elevators in favor of stairs, and cut down on the sodas, which were part of my daily lunch routine.
The resulting physical transformation has been uplifting. While I still have a ways to go, you could place me as an extra in a beach movie scene and it wouldn't seem too out of place. My wife has barely noticed, and has made just a couple of comments about me being more buff.
There's something else that has changed. Suddenly I'm noticing the enhanced interest of women all over the place. For example I was walking through the airport the other day, my eyes looking into the glass of restaurants and shops. In the reflection, it became apparent that nearly every attractive woman I passed stopped and looked up at me. At first I wondered if there was something wrong, or maybe my attire had some issues. But no, it was just me, dressed well and walking confidently through the concourse to my destination.
I took a day away from work to accompany my kids to a local theme park. My spouse doesn't like roller coasters, so it was just the kids and I. It was a record breaking hot day, and a lot of the people had worn bathing suits so they could get wet on the water rides. By noontime, it seemed that nearly every teenage girl in the park was walking around in a bikini. It was a strange site, and not where I particularly wanted to hang out.
I sat down on a bench next to a very old grandmother to wait while my kids got in line for a water slide. The line was long and the wait was about half an hour. A short while later a pretty slender redheaded lady sat down next to the elderly woman. I glanced at the pretty red hair and couldn't help but notice here stunning figure in a bikini. A sheer fishnet dress loosely covered her swimwear. I glance up and she's looking right at me. Her blue eyes dart away. A couple of seconds later she looks back and I glance away as well. This eye-dance repeats a few times. The young lady seems to be in her mid to late twenties, and despite my normal shyness, I manage to start a mild conversation. She's visiting from the mid-west, and chats about her plans for the next couple of days. I'm married, so this isn't going anywhere, but it's nice to remember how it feels to talk with someone who looks deeply into your eyes. I'm reminded of what I'm missing.
The next day I'm in the grocery store, my young son in tow. With just a couple of items, I get lucky and find a short check out line with a pretty girl. My cashier is a young brunette twenty something. I pay with cash and hold out my hand for change. For me though, her routine changes and she acts a little different. She stares into my eyes for a extended period of time. I'm slightly unnerved. Without looking away, she holds my outstretched hand while gently placing change into my palm. She slowly draws her hand away, allowing her fingers to run the full length of my hand. A tingle runs up my arm. She's way to young for me, but the attention is really nice.
There are a lot of other examples, but you get the idea. So now I'm wondering is there is something fundamentally different about me. If this just a reawakening to the lust and passion of my dating years? Am I radiating some subtle signal that says I'm emotionally available? Or is this just a sign that my plan to change myself has really worked; just with unintended consequences?
By:
R23Olympic
Age:
46-50
,
Male
