My StorySo...where do I begin? I have read so many touching stories on this forum that relates to my situation. I just don't know how to put my story into words.
I have been with my H for 11 years and fast approaching our 2nd year wedding anniversary.
Sex was OK for the first couple of years and then it teetered off after the 3rd to 4th year, to the point that we only have sex maybe a couple times a year.
I seem to initiate everything, only to be rejected. My foibles are the causes for him not wanting to be intimate with me. You have to change your ways....
So I do what everyone does, live in hope, perhaps it is my fault? I will change...so months would go on and nothing would happen. I try and initiate sex again, but my timing is always wrong. Apparently!
Then I am told that its still my fault, as he caught me doing something that he doesn't like....don't get me wrong. My H is a nice man, but he can be so stubborn and controlling sometimes. But using my habits/foibles as an excuse to not want to be intimate with me hurts. So I have endured this for 7-8 years now.
We have had loads of fights over this. He refuses to talk about the subject, as nothing can be achieved from this. So he tells me. Whats the point rehashing the same subject? He won't seek counselling, as he thinks this won't help us.
He won't initiate intimacy. My idea of affection differs to him. My fault...my fault for wanting to show someone I love them. My fault for wanting to be touched.
He wants Children with me, but how can we, when we barely have sex!
We have reached crunch time. He is waiting for me to decide whether I stay or go. He wants me, but can't tell me when he will want to be intimate with me, unless I change. Me...Im at fault. I am happy with his habits..yet he refuses to accept me for who I am.
So where do I go from here? I am in pain and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I love him, but more like a friend. What to do....?
We have this same argument over and over again. He is now making an effort..but not intimately. Well, largely because I told him I need time as I can't even bear being intimate with anyone right now. The rejection over all those years hurt.
Will he suddenyl change his ways? He's had years to do it and has not done so. He's always threatened to leave when I rehash our problems.
I am unfulfilled in this marriage