Three Years No Sex!

I have been married to my husband for three years, i've been with him for five. Before marriage our sex life was great four may five times a week,trying new things, different positions the whole nine. After marriage we went to maybe once a week, to once a month, to every few months and now not at all.We have had several conversations on this topic which all lead to the blame game. I can't take it anymore, how do I continue to stay faithful and do I have to?
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8 Responses Jul 4, 2012

I lost all my sex drive which I didn't even really miss but my wife did, I read alot about it and had a few blood tests taken and found out my body was producing little or no testosterone and my levels where extreemly low so I started take testosterone shots and B-12 shots I work in Iraq so I have to shoot my self up but I'm really starting to feel the difference I shoot up once every three weeks with one Mil of each either in the butt or thy Ihave only taken three rounds and for the first time in about a year a got up in the middle of the night with an erection harder then the kick stand on my harley have him get his blood tested and make sure Y'all ask to test for testosterone they don't normaly test for that you have to ask...

I'll see if I can't do that for ya I have never tried to add a picture with EP yet .

What you do is totally up to you. A lot of us are in the same situation, a marriage that started with promise and lots of love and sex and then fizzled out for many different reasons. with my wife it was alcoholism and the ravages that cirrhosis wreak. Now I have the option of staying with her being somewhat attentive and nice but zero sexual contact. If you want to have sex and that is more important, I suggest you get divorced first. I met a woman online with an equally alcoholic and intimacy denying spouse. We courted secretly and eventually met for one amazing evening. then 6 months later she has pulled away and stopped contact with me. I am now sexless and heartbroken. Don't let this happen to you. I knew better than to fall in love but I trusted someone...just take your time and leave if you must, give him an ultimatum, the **** or you~ best wishes...PS turning your need for love and intimacy towards a relationship with God can help too~

i think u either don't take of your appearance any more or u have problems that make you unwilling to make sex any more or ur husband is getting cold or he is unknowledgable with the importance of love , care and sex in the marriage . i advice u not to cheat on him eventhough he keeps ignoring u . cheating is a bad and ugly affair that has no excuse no matter what's the situation is . if he can't be romantic with u any more and fullfill ur lust ask him divorce and live ur life with another person who can give u what u want . that's my modest opinion . i hope u can have a solution to this problem with ur husband without cheating on him or getting divoce . hopefully he can understand how ugly he acts towards u and never be obliged to separate or make aduletry . exuse me for my bad english cuz i am not a native speaker of it . am sorry this is happening to u . may God help u

I don't think he realizes how fortunate he is. A woman with your values is to be cherished.

u r a good wife . u respect yourself and your husband . u love him and want to stay faithful to him . i am angry at him because he has such a wonderful wife with this physical and mental beauty and ignors her . u have to be dealt as princess because u don't cheat . i know it's hard to have patience the whole lifetime . as for me u have 2 choices . u either talk to ur husband stricly and tell him : u don't satisfy me emotionally and sexually i lack ur love and care , u either change and care for me or let's get separated cuz i don't like to find myself cheating on you one day . i want u to be the man with whom i have the emotionaly and sexual happiness but u push me to be bad and ask myself to what extend i can be faithful . u r like a ballon that blows , u may explose one day if he didn't change his behavior with u . talk to him for the last time and see what he would do . if he stayed as before ask divorce . u r in love with but u r not happy with him . having sex outside marriage is better than have it in marriage i mean it's ugly to cheat on ur husband marriage is sacrified link between a man and a woman its meant to create love and inner peace and produce good kids who r useful for their parents , themselves and society . when it becames a source of unlimited problems and all tries to solve them fail it's better to break up and have divorce .

Given the info subsequent to your story, I'd put it to you that the problem is he is an outright liar. The lack of sexual engagement is a sidebar to the fact that he is an outright liar.<br />
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Why you would feel obligated to stay married to him, remain faithful to him etc is pretty hard to see.<br />
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Tread your own path.

I have a wife that isn't that sexual. But due to prostate cancer, and hormone therapy intercourse is no longer an option. But there are other ways for the intimacy. That doesn't happen either. To come down to brass tacks my wife is a prude. So here's a marriage with no sex. It's tough. It makes me want to look for someone else for some intimacy . But I can't bring myself to do that to her.

I no right where your coming from... My wife isn't so much as a sexual person as I would hope she is. It started out we had sex all the times and also did diffrent things but all at ones it had all stoped... So I turned to having affairs with other wemon... I felt guilty for a while then I finally told myself sex is something i cant live with out i had needs... To answer you question sometimes you can be faithful but not at the same... A person need the feel of physcila love as well as emotional so i dont see anything wroung with it... They key is to find someone who has the same problem and look as it as your helping each othe.... I am here if you would ever like to talk....

Why does he say he doesn't and hasn't wanted to?<br />
What does he blame you for?<br />
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Has anything significant happened since you got married?<br />
Children, infidelity, medical issues,....?

*Red flag*
Who prefers **** to actually have sex with another person?
Why woud he be addicted now, and not before?
Does he have any sexual issues like ED, or something, and maybe he is self conscious?

He should feel like more of a failure for dropping the ball in his marriage and failing you.
Do you think anything has gone on besides just talking to women online?

Isn't there other medicine and other methods for helping ED?

The addiction is a lie. If he did it would be with you also. It's just he's excuse to get with someone else

Your Q's -<br />
<br />
1 - "how do I continue to stay faithful ?"<br />
A - subjegate your own personality, aims, goals and aspirations and let them be subservient to his. In other words, keep doing what you have been doing. Maintain the status quo.<br />
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2 - " and do I have to?"<br />
A - no you don't have to. But you DO have to be prepared to pay the price that embracing you own personality, achieving your aims, goals and aspirations will cost. And of course you DO have to enjoy the end benefits such a course would take you on.<br />
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It all comes down to choice. Your choice. And you don't get a pass on choice. No-one does.<br />
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Tread your own path.