No Sex...and Married Less Than Two Years.I am 31 years old and my husband in 32. We dated for about 3 years before we eloped. Our sex life was ok, not great, before then, and by that, I only mean he has never wanted sex as often as I did. I am not sex crazed, I assure you, but I had expectations of a normal helathy sex life with my partner (intamacy at least weekly). I am plump and not Miss America and my husband is a big guy, but I have always found him to be handsome. We moved back to very small hometown after we were both laid off from jobs in the city. My husband, to say the least, had a nervous breakdown. He hated our home, my family, my dog, our new town, and pretty much me too. He said that I ruined his life bringing him to my hometown. He gained about 70lbs (he refused to find a job in our new town because he hated the people in it) not working and getting back on anti-depressants. The last time that we had sex was June 31, 2011, about 6 months after we got married and the sex that we did have in the months prior to our final romp, he did not get satisfaction/release. I got upset about it at first and told him that without intamacy, he is just becoming a roomate that I support. I warned him that without it, I feel that I may seek it elswhere. This does not seem to faze him. I have, like many, moved my efforts onto other things, most importantly getting certified to teach and begin a career change. I have landed a great job in a large city and money will no longer be such a problem. But so much has changed in this last year, and that desire, and sadly, my feeliings toward my husband are very different. I no longer love him that way. He has been such a nightmare of misery this last year and without that physical intimacy, I have felt more and more like his caregiver or mother; a complete turnoff. So, should I take him with me on this new journey to my great new job in a great city? It seems like the perfect time for a fresh, new start. Or do I owe him this? I DID bring him to a place that he had no desire to come to, but what were our options!? We were unemployed and SINKING. He spent our entire time here sulking, losing his mind, and being miserable, where as I turned around, studied for my teaching certification, worked, had garage sales, sold crafts and did EVERYTHING to keep us afloat! Maybe he will be happier in this new place with me? I am so sad. I don't want to be a statistic. I know that this will sound weak, but I also REALLY dont want to be alone again. I was alone for many years (and I enjoyed it!) but I WANTED to get married and be with someone. Can that intimate love ever come back? I have read that this is considered emotional abuse...thoughts? I have never talked about this with anyone, because I don't want people to give advice (prob for me to leave him) and then I don't take it, and then its awkward. Relying on the imput of this strange community I have just stumbled across (at work ;). Thanks.
tickinggrass 31-35 11 Responses 0 Jul 5, 2012