Advice Needed Desperately - UpdateI would like to thank everyone for their comments on my story yesterday. I must say some harsh realities were dished out but truthful none the less.
Since posting yesterday i have spent hours reading up on stories here. I must say i have found most useful but was particuarly inspired by Frustrated 1978 posts to others and how he dealt with his issues at home.
At first reading i was concerned about some of his methods as possibly hostile, or extreme, but than as i thought about it and read some more i realised they were neither hostile or extreme. Just plain common sense and a normal way to react to a situation. We just dont see it as we still see our partners as partners we usually are reluctant to think outside the circle.
I particuarly liked his quotes on Relegate your Refuser to Roomate Status and tell them so. Stop paying for their lifestyle, and expenses emotionally financially whatever.
So last night i decided to challenge myself and think outside of my circle. I tried to suppress my fears and made the call to my two banks and cancelled my wife from my accounts.
About 1 hour later i had an enraged call from my wife upset that her cards had been rejected from whatever shop she was trying to spend at.
I must confess that when i got home last night her reaction was explosive. However as my wife realised that i was perhaps serious in my reasons for doing so, i saw something i haven't seen in years from her. A genuine look of concern.
Me and the wife did not share a bedroom last night. She stormed off in to the spare room.
I must say her reaction was unsettling but it felt good to finally feel some self worth.
After reading up on here i am starting to realise that i cant control my wifes actions and her willingness to sleep with me but i can control whether or not i accept her actions or tally up the bill and present her with the account owing as Frustrated says.
I am trying to think in small steps and i am very scared for my future but i would like to thank Baz, Frustrated, and everyone else who contribute to this community here.
I will keep you all updated on events.
punchbag2012 41-45, M 16 Responses 2 Jul 5, 2012