11 Years...

I'm in a relationship that's lasted over 11 years, produced two beautiful kids and I can honestly say that I respect and love the most amazing woman in the whole world.

She is my companion, my friend and a good listener.

However sex has been missing like the Loch Ness Monster, Lord Lucan or the missing link. I feel loved by my kids and the missus... just there's no intimacy, no sharing of each other between me and the missus anymore.

I feel so empty.
I feel so alone inside.

Thanks for listening.
Invisible75 Invisible75
36-40, M
9 Responses Jul 6, 2012


So would you **** someone else if the opportunity arose?

Lord knows there's been a couple of times when I could've... but I didn't.
That's a line I just won't cross.

awww poor you...

I think bazz's comment is important because unless someone is truly asexual lack of sex is not usually about sex. Both parties have a right to be heard and to have their needs met; sometimes this requires compromise and not everyone gets everything they want. There's a reason your partner is not that into you and you either need to find out what it is and address it, accept that things are what they are and either live with it or find other company (with the understanding that this could blow up in your face), or leave. The everything else is great argument had been used to justify all kinds of things.

Join the club bro. You're not alone. Don't have any answers. Don't have any judgements or opinions either. Just a pair of eyes to read your posts. Cheers.

"I feel so empty.<br />
I feel so alone inside.<br />
Souless." but " I feel loved by my kids and the missus..." "the most amazing woman in the whole world." <br />
<br />
Is she really so amazing? Making you feel empty and soulless? Was sex missing all 11 years?

Hello Invisibleguy<br />
<br />
As Baz says, not much specific, so not much to be said. However, you KNOW you are not actually invisible, it is just that you have convinced yourself that it is that way.<br />
<br />
This will annoy you. You are in a really dark hole. Your lack of sex may have started that hole, but you climbed in and have been busy digging away ever since.<br />
<br />
It's not much of a revelation, to be honest, but it is hard to gain a useful perspective from a hole in the ground, either a real one or a figurative one. It's even more difficult to actually do anything. Just sayin'.<br />
<br />
At some point you WILL get around to realising that no matter how it all started and no matter how it might end, that there is absolutely no point to being where you are. Take your own time over it.<br />
<br />
Think about what is good in your life and what value you put on it. Then put a value on what is missing. Use that to gain perspective. That is not to suggest that you have to put up with the current situation but merely to see it for what it truly is. Things could be a whole lot worse. You could even make them a whole lot worse. Maybe that would not be the thing to try to achieve?

i think if you talk to your partner about this you will get to an understanding because sex that what keeps a relationship going if it is not there they will be complications .talk to her so you will kow why there is no intimacy wuth your wife

No back stories, nothing helpful on the profile.<br />
<br />
But it does look like a 'typical' newbie story where "everything is great bar the sex" is the position you are taking.<br />
<br />
I'd invite you to fearlessly challenge this position you have taken. Under the blowtorch of truth it usually collapses like a house of cards.<br />
<br />
About the only clue in this is where you give her credit for being "a good listener". The omission, that she ain't much of a "doer" is glaringly obvious - because surely you have raised this issue repeatedly over the journey. Presumably you've been listened to, and that's where it ends as far as any "doing" goes.<br />
<br />
You don't say that you want to do anything about this yourself either, so I won't presume to suggest anything, other than you challenge that perception that "everything is great but the sex"<br />
<br />
If you elected to read extensively in here, you'll find the 3 awful options discussed at length.<br />
<br />
Welcome.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.