I am upside down and turned about today. So, very confused. I finally told my H that I wanted to move out and he is so upset and he doesn't want me to leave and he is willing to do anything. It is all my fault because I am not recognising his efforts to fix the marriage. He says he only understands now what I want. So, he asked me out on a date. I was shocked, I stumbled about and said sure, (that was yesterday). I thought about it overnight and told him today that I would really like to go and now he says he doesn't think it will be fun because we will just talk about our problems all the way to the movies and then it will be no fun for him. He says he has been really trying, doing little stuff, talking to me about the book he was reading, listening to the news so that he could have a discussion with me about it, buying me a birthday present this year. He has done those things, yes. It just doesn't seem like an effort.He also says that thinking about me is difficult for him because the things of life get in the way and he forgets. He also says he really doesn't like to be with me right now. So, what does he want? He also says he doesn't know if he can actually change, been this way for too long. He says he thought he was being nice to me by not having intimate relations because he didn't think I would want to do what he wanted to do. Then he says he is not really even sure if his fantasies would be what he wants because after all they are just fantasies. I finally, got him to tell me one, nothing out of the ordinary at all. I am so confused. He says he avoided *** and refused to be kind??? I telll him it is not a loving thing to refuse someone and he says he didn't see it that way. Then he says he doesn't find me attractive that way. Then he tells me he has fantasies about me. So, which is real? Why is this happening? People around me are telling me that he is very controlling. Is this what it is about? My EP friends please help.