Counterrefusal. The Case For.One of the numerous problems in a dysfunctional marriage is the uncertainty of it all, particularly in the area of intimate ex
Even if you are being refused "all the time" there still exists a level of hope, that 'maybe if I wear the blue see thru panties instead of the black something might happen'.
Even worse is the situation where there is intermittent unpredictable sex. Where the blue see thru panties worked that time but this time they didn't.
It all works to keep you off balance, some hope glimmering, and never having any level of certainty going on. Your sex life is entirely in the hands of your refusing spouse. You are very much a bit pla
Whether this is a deliberate ploy by the refusing spouse or whether it is just ignorance or stupidity or ill health or any other one of the imaginative "whys" seen on these pages that drives the behaviour doesn't greatly matter. The behaviour is there, it is present, it is a fact. Foisted upon you by the refusing spouses unilateral decision. It is all too easy to adopt a victim mentality.
A change in thinking can make a big difference.
Hows about you decide to take ownership back ?
To make the choice YOURS that there will be no intimate ex
To acknowledge the fact that as far as intimate ex
To utilise this freed up time and energy into more productive areas that are of interest to you. To live YOUR life pursuing things that enhance your life. Friends. Hobbies. Life enhancing people. Things that value add to your life. To put YOUR interests at the top of the list. To live YOUR life. To be the authentic YOU.
Think about it, as a principle. The concept of YOU making the mindset change from "victim" of the situation to "owner" of it. It is very empowering. And, from that position of empowerment, you WILL shift the dynamic.
It may be that "where" the dynamic shifts TO ends up bringing the whole relationship crashing down on your head as the truth(s) of your dysfunctional marriage are flushed out. This is usually the eventual outcome unfortunately. It hastens the result that was otherwise going to take years to play out.
This is NOT an action that is going to solve the dysfunctional marriage. It is a method of managing your part in it as it plays out to its' truthful conclusion. Whatever that conclusion may be.
Tread your own path.