The End Is Nigh
I have tried hard to save my virtually sexless marriage but now I am giving up the ghost. I had an affair but ended it, confessing it all to my husband. I saw it as a wake-up call to my marriage, was profusely sorry, tried to restore intimacy, to initiate more love-making, to get him back to the doctors to sort out his erectile dysfunction. But he refuses to see a doctor (even though he could change his BP meds) and has, despite my pleading with him not to go, disappeared by choice off to foreign parts for several weeks leaving me alone with the boys. Oh. and the day before he left I caught my 16 year old son helping him download audio **** onto the MP3 I had bought him the day before - presumably so he can *** to his heart's content in foreign parts. I have tried to contact him - have told him how lonely I am and how I just can't live like this any more. Tonight my former lover - with whom I have had the most mind-blowing sex with, and who likes to make love and to take off his clothes and to look after me - has been in touch again. And you know what? This time I'm jumping in with both feet. I'm 53, don't have forever, and am fed up with being alone and sexless and a single parent. I'm done. I have dreamt about this guy every night and morning since we parted. If I stay with my husband I will never have sex again (or at least proper sex) and for the first time in my life ever I have experienced what it is to make love properly - not with all your clothes on, your eyes screwed rightly shut, or with someone who doesn't 'do' oral sex, or touch your breasts. I still feel young and alive and can't live like this forever.