Enjoying The Moment

It's now some days after I decided enough was enough with my sexless marriage. Husband is away - have heard nothing from him for days now. No contact. I expect when he comes out of the desert he will be back in touch with us again. In the meantime, discretely, I have been investigating the legal position - oh, and, for the first time ever in my life, have experienced what it is to make love properly to another person who wants and desires you intensely, cannot keep away from you, wants to touch you all over all the time, sends flirty, funny and downright dirty texts, and wants to make love for 5 or 6 hours at a time. He is also in a dead and sexless marriage. Just want to remind everyone out there that there is NOTHING that feels better than the physical and emotional part of love-making - let's not just call it sex. It is magical and transformative, spontaneous and celebratory, at the very essence of what it means to be a human being. Nakedness and kissing and no holds barred anywhere. I have spent so much of my life not having this wonderful life-affirming gift. Finally at the age of 53 I discover what it is all about - and I am never going back to what has laughably passed as my married sex life in which I'm not allowed to take my clothes off or do oral sex or touch chest or nipples.

I now really do believe what I have read here - that there are sex people and people who are not into sex. The sex people are tactile, spontaneous, passionate, willing to lose themselves in another person. The non-sex people are surrounded by inhibitions and barriers to bodily contact. They set limits and conditions. Maybe it is hard to find this out before you get married, but in my case I saw the warning signs with my husband - but at that time knew no better. I don't think the problem ever improves over the years.
ChrissieG ChrissieG
51-55, F
12 Responses Jul 17, 2012

Good to see you realized you were in captivity

Congratulations, Chrissie! I think I've found someone too who is on the same page as I am when it comes to physical contact. She makes me feel calm even though we have fantastic sex! I feel like there is someone else in the world who understands what I need after over 27 years of being rejected. Good luck!

Good for you!

ChrissieG<br />
<br />
How wonderful that at age 53 you finally can enjoy "taking all your clothes off", enjoying oral sex and being completely liberated to do whatever comes into your mind without any inhibitions!<br />
I was about your age when I had the most intimate sexual experience ever! My lover asked me to show her how I **********. I showed her without hesitation and it satisfied both of us. She then offered to show me how she does it. <br />
It led to many fantasies of early teen years and our relationship depends every day!<br />
Try something new every time!

It is an amazing feeling after being without for so long. I say enjoy this time but keep in mind what you are doing. Watch the phone calls and text as they are how most affairs are revealed....

Happy to hear you are enjoying yourself and have even looked into the legal factor better.<br />
<br />
I would however advise that you have in place an exit strategy ready to go because if your husband ever found out about your new lover which is quite possible his reaction is likely to be Volcanic!<br />
<br />
Stay Strong & Good Luck

Good to see you have grabbed this heaven sent opportunity to unload Rambo.<br />
<br />
Tread your own path.

Go for it Chrissie and enjoy it. I just wish I had the guts to do the same ....

"The sex people are tactile, spontaneous, passionate, willing to lose themselves in another person. The non-sex people are surrounded by inhibitions and barriers to bodily contact. They set limits and conditions." <br />
<br />
Excellent synopsis of the sex people/non-sex people concept.<br />
<br />
Thank you for sharing your story and I am happy for your happiness...<br />
<br />

So how do you tell the difference between a real sex person, and someone who is putting on a show during dating?

He's in the desert, you're in the jungle. Congratulations!

The desert kills you with thirst. The jungle has predators.

Yay Chrissie! <br />
Best wishes on your exit plan.