Progressive, But DevastatedThis week, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I've lived with her for 15 years, married for 10. I accepted it was a sexless marriage 8 long years ago, but that was very hard for me, and took me to some very dark places.
Anyway, I was shocked and it hurt really badly when she said she wanted the divorce. I was stunned at how painful a weekend it has been. She even mentioned the fact that we hadn't had sex in forever. Funny how things twist sometimes. To this day, I still desire sex with her. She has been the most beautiful thing in my life. No problem, no divorce, will ever change that.
It hurts that we are going to tear down this life we built, even with all the other issues. We both worked hard to get where we are. The last six months have been very difficult with job issues, deaths, and other changes.
I hope, however this finishes, that she finds what she needs to be happy. No one deserves to be unhappy in their relationships. For me, the road has an uphill climb, but there is an end now. I can start to mend my fences, as I have things that I need to address with myself. It is amazing how damaging the self-loathing and personal neglect can be in a relationship without physical love. Now I need to regrow to love myself again.